OT I'm kinda ticked off!!

[dezeldoc]

Went out back and was checking out a few things and noticed a bunch of broken bricks in the yard, started looking around and found the 36 2 ton truck had big holes in the windshield! big rocks and bricks all over it, checked out some of the other cars and found the 41 Chevy sedan had the back glass knocked out! now i am steaming. 6 months back the kids in the yard behind me were thrashing a wooden shed with rocks and i warned them not to hit any of the cars, all was good till i guess saturday. well i went and had a word with the kids mother and she was very apologetic and said they would pay to replace them and the dad would be over to talk to me when he got home. well about 5:30 he comes over and apologizes for the kid and wants to see the damage, so out back we go. he could not believe how many bricks and rocks were thrown, when we were looking we found a whole bunch of big dents on the car and truck and on the roof of my camper next to the 41 were about 8 bricks. he wants to know how much to replace the glass and fix the dents, told him i did not know yet, after looking better today their is about 6 hours body work on the 41 and about 3 more on the truck plus glass and rubber. i am thinking it is going to be around a grand when all is said and done. now the strange part is he is a pastor at a church in the next town over and he wants me to let the kid come and work the money off for him as the kid directed the attack at me. he is going to pay me cash but wants the kid to work off what he will owe dad but i am up in the air about it, what do you guys think? should i let him or what, i might have a small tenancy to want to thump him on the head and teach some respect for others property. my question to the dad was where were you when all this was happening, got no response. mom was out of town she said so dad was the babysitter, not to observant of him as this had to be going on for quite a while. the only day i pick to go and pick up my boat this happens, wished i had stayed home now. sorry for the long rant. oh yeh the kid is 12 so he knows right from wrong!

Edited February 18, 2010 by dezeldoc

[PatS....]

I think having him work it off is a good idea, but you should also take the opportunity to show the kid a few things about the old cars, have him turn a wrench or two, take him for a drive.

Not forgetting to show him a work ethic as well.

He's screaming for attention, and and to me it's a chance for you to make a difference in a kid's life.

He's only 12, so it's a very impressionable time. He'll remember what you teach for a lifetime.

[Frank Elder]

If he listens, work him like a rented mule, if gives you the "whatever" attitude send him home. A lot of minister's children act out to prove to their peers that they are not the same as their goody two shoes parents....no offense intended, you may find a good kid underneath a lot of bluster. And maybe a future car guy to boot.

When you are older and grayer,:Dand he stops by to shoot the bull and shows you his latest project, you can get out his baby pictures. He'll just shake his head at all the damaged cars in them and say, "What was I thinkin'".

[JerseyHarold]

Sorry to hear about your misfortune. I would not let him work off the debt on your property. There is a liability issue here---if he gets hurt while working for you, you're in trouble. Discipline belongs at home, and teaching the kid a lesson is not your problem.

Have you considered filing an insurance claim (either car or homeowner's)? Otherwise, get cash from the father and call it a day.

Just my 2 cents' worth.

Harold

[1950 Special Deluxe]

Sorry to hear this. I have 2 young teenage boys myself. If you allow the boy to work off the debt, have Dad come with him. He needs to spend time with his dad as well, seems like dad is wanting you to help teach the young fellow things that he should already know. I wish you the best with this and the repairs involved.

[Joe Flanagan]

Boy, I would be steaming mad, too. The good part of this (if there is any) is that the Dad agreed to pay. I could imagine many parents saying you couldn't prove their kid did the act. I guess if you have to be victimized by a juvenile delinquent, make sure that juvenile delinquent is the son of a clergyman.

My own opinion on having the kid work off the debt is I wouldn't. That's just me and others here have made good points but to me it would just be a babysitting job, taking up still more of my time on top of the repairs the kid cost me.

Got any poison ivy growing in your yard? Tell him he can come over and clear it out.

[claybill]

the father is trying to get off his resposibility. he is liable for his son at that age. being not so hot at his own role of father. seems he is pushing the 'penance' off on the kid..who needs something else anyway!!!

get enough $$$ to make it a hardship for the father..

ask the kid if he would like to help you out around the garage to learn about old cars. forget about working it off, make it a pleasure for him

any man can be a father, but a 'dad' is something you have to earn.

claybill

[Plymouthy Adams]

spare the rod, spoil the child...regardless of who what and where the father threw no brick..he is probably a very hard working stiff who tries to commute to the child repsonsibility and dicipline...face it, the father is not always able to see his child due to work constraints. The child is responsible and needs to learn the lesson of consequences for his actions. The father is responsible for the damage..to such he admitted to by accepting responsibilty to making restitution payment. But to say make this fun for the kid...that is sending the wrong signal..IF in the actions of working off his crime and it is a crime by the way...he should learn respect of individuals, value of property and maybe actually in the process find that the old car hobby may be something he would eventually enjoy..well that be a little plus to his putting a brick in the road to his maturity...

[Tony Cipponeri]

I agree with Claybill, if working it off means you have to pay for the kids work, then it is a no no. You would still end up paying for the damages. Tony C

[pflaming]

I've got two boys, different as day and night. Last summer a friend said I could not take all the credit for the one nor all the blame for the other, good advice.

I agree that the boy should not be able to work it all off, BUT I would take it a project at a time and see if he is teachable, if so, you will gain a person who will "stick closer than a brother" or maybe a son.

[desoto1939]

The first thing to do is take real detailed pictures o fthe cars and document the issues. Then send then to your insurance carrier. I hope you have used a specilaity company like JC Taylor or another company and not your regular car Insuracne company.

File the claim get apprials on the damage and get the cars fixed. Let the father know the cost of the damage. I would get the kid involved and all of the the other kids involved with some type of community work and have the community put a price on the work. Do not ket the kids go scott free. As someone else stated you might want to invite the kids over to see the damage and then explain how long it takes to restore a car and help turn a wrench to remove a fender or what ever needs to be fixed. They might turn out to be great kids. I know it willbe hard not to get mad at them but they are in need of some guidane from some one and you just might be the person. It sounds as if mom and dad never have time for them and possibly they never sit down at the table to talk just tooooo busy but this is why kids are getting into trouble. They is no generation gap jus a lack of talking with your kids and paying attnetion to them. They need us to talk to them and if we do not pay attentiont hen they go off and do stupid things.

Just my thoughts. Take a deep breath they might be a real good friend later in life.

Rich Hartung

[Captain Neon]

I agree with Tim. Having grown up around PKs my whole life and soon to be an uncle to one. I've seen all types of PKs. Some grow up to become ministers and ministers' wives, and others grow up to be crack whores and homosexual gigolos. He needs to learn the consequences of his actions, but as long as the father is too busy tending his flock and ignoring his kids then the father needs to find an other occupation.

I'm not going to quote the Bible, but one of the qualifications as proscribed in the Bible requires a minister to have his home life under control. My great-grandfather told us that one can't complain about his neighbour's uncut grass until one's own porch was swept.

[48mirage]

Tough call. I've read the responses and all have merit.

Now my $.02. Dad pays, even if it hurts. Son, well, if you are willing, let him do some work around the place, but make it clear he has to earn the right to "help" on the cars.

I would say the first chore would be to pick up all the bricks and the broken glass. If you get the "whatever" attitude let Dad know that the son wasn't motivated to help clean up the mess he created and that you didn't want him hanging around.

This story sounds a little like the plot from the Clint Eastwood movie Gran Torino. That turned out alright but again that's Hollywood.

Good Luck

[Young Ed]

I like the comparison. Of course its hollywood and Clint also had a shotgun

[p10plymouth]

One I had a neighbor kid make a problem... SO I went to my Church and asked for their opioion.... The Pastor told me " Its always not been fashionable to do the Christan thing" .. And doing the Christian "thing" is turning it over to the Law... (not turning away)

I would make a call to the local Junior Detention Law Agency ... ASAP... One day the Kid might thank-you as my neighborers kid did.

[dirty dan]

Went out back and was checking out a few things and noticed a bunch of broken bricks in the yard, started looking around and found the 36 2 ton truck had big holes in the windshield! big rocks and bricks all over it, checked out some of the other cars and found the 41 Chevy sedan had the back glass knocked out! now i am steaming. 6 months back the kids in the yard behind me were thrashing a wooden shed with rocks and i warned them not to hit any of the cars, all was good till i guess saturday. well i went and had a word with the kids mother and she was very apologetic and said they would pay to replace them and the dad would be over to talk to me when he got home. well about 5:30 he comes over and apologizes for the kid and wants to see the damage, so out back we go. he could not believe how many bricks and rocks were thrown, when we were looking we found a whole bunch of big dents on the car and truck and on the roof of my camper next to the 41 were about 8 bricks. he wants to know how much to replace the glass and fix the dents, told him i did not know yet, after looking better today their is about 6 hours body work on the 41 and about 3 more on the truck plus glass and rubber. i am thinking it is going to be around a grand when all is said and done. now the strange part is he is a pastor at a church in the next town over and he wants me to let the kid come and work the money off for him as the kid directed the attack at me. he is going to pay me cash but wants the kid to work off what he will owe dad but i am up in the air about it, what do you guys think? should i let him or what, i might have a small tenancy to want to thump him on the head and teach some respect for others property. my question to the dad was where were you when all this was happening, got no response. mom was out of town she said so dad was the babysitter, not to observant of him as this had to be going on for quite a while. the only day i pick to go and pick up my boat this happens, wished i had stayed home now. sorry for the long rant. oh yeh the kid is 12 so he knows right from wrong!

Is dad expecting you to pay the kid, or is he just wanting the kid to work as "focus time"? I wouldn't pay the kid, but if it's just being used as time for the boy to work and think about what he has done, I would encourage that if you have the time. I don't think I'd worry about getting sued. If they were of that ilk, they'd have denied the boy's involvement in the first place.

What I see is a chance for you to help the boy get a foot on the correct path and to gain a life long young friend.

We all have done things that cause us to wince when we think about them.

[dezeldoc]

No the dad is paying the bill, but the kid will owe dad the $$ and that is what he is wanting him to work off, the reimbursement to dad. no way would i pay the kid to work off damage he did, there would go the money the dad gave me. i keep thinking about the kids, the mom stays at home and does childcare 2 days a week she says, but others have told me she does it everyday and their is always more kids there than the 3 that are theirs, so they are messing up more kids than their own. i got to say if my kids had behaved like the ones i see over there their would have been trouble. i am thinking the same thing about the liability issue especially with the glass, but dad says he will be there supervising ( yeh have seen that before! ) I am going to make him pick up the bricks and rocks that is for sure, but the glass i think i am going to pick it up, i don't want the kid to get hurt no matter how stupid he was. it still bugs me that they just turn them loose in the back yard and forget about them and their responsibility to supervise them. i have no problem mentoring kids as i have done that in the past to the neighborhood kids, on bikes and the cars also and yes the love it, sometimes the parents don't like it, they feel like i am using the kid for free labor! but what the heck the kids like it and it keeps them out of trouble. I got about 3/4 acre of weeds that need pulled and some tree trimmings put in the trash so that ought to make him sweat! but dad will have to tend to him as i have better things to do than watch him, besides dad needs some punishment for not doing his job as a father. maybe i will make him sign a release to hold me harmless if the kid or dad gets hurt. the other kid i think was the instigator, and his dad is a fireman so both dads have jobs that would take them away from family a lot. but still no excuse for not teaching them right from wrong.

[Joe Flanagan]

I knew a pastor's kid once who claimed that he was embarrassed because he was the pastor's kid. He thought everyone else thought he was a sheltered goody-two-shoes so he acted out to prove to them he wasn't any such thing. I didn't get to know him until he was an adult, but he told me he did destructive things so people wouldn't associate him with a religious upbringing. Turns out he was an alcoholic, so in the end he didn't even have to TRY to be destructive. Once he started drinking alcoholically, destructive behavior just came naturally. That didn't have anything to do with Pops, of course, but it's kind of ironic how far the apple fell from the tree.

[JIPJOBXX]

Back in my high school days my brother owned this very interesting old hot rod Packard. It was powered by a Cadillac flat head tank engine and weighed in at about two tons. Well he let me borrow his car for the last day of school and so I was proud as a peacock to be seen in this hot rod. So getting on with the story I took it out for lunch with probably 10 other kids in it. Well going down the street a friend of mine heaved a water balloon at my car and hit the windshield. He didn't plan on it but it did. Well fast forward 40 years latter that guy was up here on a vacation and mentioned something about the windshield he broke. He told my brother he would pay for it and his mom gave him the money but he stated that his mom works the hell of him all summer just to pay for that stupid mistake. I had completely forgotten that he was the culprit.

[T120]

....Unfortunately,claiming to be a victim of , (whatever will serve the purpose at the time), has become an all too common excuse today for misdeeds.At some point in life each of us must accept responsibility for our own actions.The younger, the better - sort of a rant

Edited February 19, 2010 by Ralph D25cpe

[41/53dodges]

i may be young, but i would make that little sh*t pay for the things he broke, and repair them PLUS INTEREST, but still teach him some good things so he leaves with a good feeling about you, but just so he knows not to do these things. if the kids dad takes care of it, what does the kid learn from this?

[PatS....]

I was just thinking, maybe the kid DID get what he wants.

If he has to work it off and dad has to be there, the kid gets time with dad, what he was venting about in the first place.

Negative attention IS attention, right. Maybe the kid ain't so stupid...just desperate.

[dezeldoc]

Now the wife does not want the kid in the yard, figured he did enough damage and the parents should be responsible for them and also the punishment. kinda funny hearing that out of her as she is usually the nice forgiving one. but i got a lot of weeds and i don't want to pull them so i think dad and son are gonna work it off! He isn't going to be to happy, just to replace the glass is 675 plus another 450 for the body work and that is on the cheap side!

By the way JIPJOBXX nice ride! would like to have it today!

[Joe Flanagan]

That was one heck of an expensive prank. I hope he learns from it.

[dezeldoc]

Well the dad showed up along with the friends mom, his kid was at basket ball practice, and i got to tell you the friends kid was a pretty good kid till the preachers kid showed up. that kid is gonna be problems! smart mouth, smart As* kid, if he was mine the boy would not see the light of day for quite some time! they did a so so job but dad stayed with them and did not seem to happy. tried teaching them a few things about the cars but they were not interested, but they did relate to my comparison if i had smashed their video game system!