DonaldSmith Posted August 18, 2016 Report Posted August 18, 2016 You guys, This is the most childish, adolescent, pre-puberty drivel I've heard from you in a long time. It brings me back to the days of my youth. Did you hear about the lady who backed into a propeller? Disaster! 1 Quote
Don Coatney Posted August 18, 2016 Author Report Posted August 18, 2016 "Watch out for that big saw blade," he said offhandedly. 1 Quote
40plyrod Posted August 18, 2016 Report Posted August 18, 2016 I thought it was the butcher who backed into the meat slicer, he got a little behind in the order. 1 Quote
Plymouthy Adams Posted August 18, 2016 Report Posted August 18, 2016 I thought it was the butcher who backed into the meat slicer, he got a little behind in the order. no.....that was the doctor who left his scalpel under his patient...he got behind in his surgery Quote
BigDaddyO Posted August 18, 2016 Report Posted August 18, 2016 A termite walks into a saloon and asks 'Where's the bartender?'. 1 Quote
Dan Hiebert Posted August 19, 2016 Report Posted August 19, 2016 Grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you". The grasshopper says...you have a drink named Murray? 3 Quote
Bobacuda Posted August 19, 2016 Report Posted August 19, 2016 Last time I heard so many jokes that were this bad was at the Circus. It was intense... 2 Quote
ggdad1951 Posted August 19, 2016 Report Posted August 19, 2016 cemetaries are so full...people are dying to get in! 1 Quote
Merle Coggins Posted August 19, 2016 Report Posted August 19, 2016 cemetaries are so full...people are dying to get in! I've always been told that's why they put fences around cemeteries... because people are dying to get in... 1 Quote
William Davey Posted August 19, 2016 Report Posted August 19, 2016 Did you hear about the dumb blond that couldn't figure out why so many famous men were born on holidays? 1 Quote
Plymouthy Adams Posted August 19, 2016 Report Posted August 19, 2016 not a one liner but blonde are fun.....blonde walking alongside the river...spot another blonde on the other side....yells out, Hey, how do I get to the other side...the second blonde yells back, Dummy....you are on the other side.... 1 Quote
Todd B Posted August 22, 2016 Report Posted August 22, 2016 Blondes favorite nursery rhyme: Hump me and dump me Quote
40plyrod Posted August 22, 2016 Report Posted August 22, 2016 Since we're telling blonde jokes, how do you make a blonde laugh in church on Sunday...tell her a joke on Friday. 4 Quote
Don Coatney Posted August 26, 2016 Author Report Posted August 26, 2016 Deja Boo: when you think you have seen this horror movie before Whiz Q: the line to pee in the men's room Gunga Din: a really noisy Gunga Mortifry: annual BBQ for undertakers Boorneo: someone who is just starting to be a pain in the ass Soporiffic: biscuit that holds a LOT of gravy Configure: the number on a prisoner's jersey Bangalore: Huge Deodorant Sale at Wal-Mart...I'll bet you thought is was some kind of orgy. Quote
ssnowden Posted August 26, 2016 Report Posted August 26, 2016 One of my favorites: "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers" 3 Quote
Bobacuda Posted August 26, 2016 Report Posted August 26, 2016 Why don't they play poker at the zoo? Too many cheetahs... 2 Quote
DJ194950 Posted August 26, 2016 Report Posted August 26, 2016 I thought I made a mistake once--I was wrong!.. 3 Quote
Plymouthy Adams Posted August 26, 2016 Report Posted August 26, 2016 (edited) why don't bikes stand up by themselves........they two tired... Edited August 26, 2016 by Plymouthy Adams 1 Quote
BigDaddyO Posted August 27, 2016 Report Posted August 27, 2016 When their prized Panthera leo escaped from the Helsinki Zoo, Finland had to cancel every race in the country. How can you have a race without a Finnish Lion? Quote
BigDaddyO Posted August 27, 2016 Report Posted August 27, 2016 Last time I heard so many jokes that were this bad was at the Circus. It was intense... I told my therapist that some days I feel like a little pup tent and some days like a circus big top. She told me to relax because I was too tense. Quote
BigDaddyO Posted August 27, 2016 Report Posted August 27, 2016 What do you call a broken boomerang? A stick. 1 Quote
40plyrod Posted August 27, 2016 Report Posted August 27, 2016 That reminds me of one my kids used to like. What's brown and sticky?...a stick! 1 Quote
Bobacuda Posted August 27, 2016 Report Posted August 27, 2016 Two folks interviewing for the same job. Both were excellent candidates - it was dead even. Finally, the boss said, "I need creativity for this job...and someone that can think on their feet. Here's a piece of paper and a pen. You have 5 minutes to write me a verse of a poem that uses the word 'Timbuktu." Both candidates were stunned, but they gave it a shot. The first one read his: "While traveling in a foreign land, I came across a caravan. I asked where they were bound to, Their destination...Timbuktu." He impressed everyone, until then the second one read his: "Me and Tim a hunting went - Found three ladies in a tent. There was three of them, and just us two... So I bucked one and Tim bucked two." 1 Quote
TodFitch Posted August 28, 2016 Report Posted August 28, 2016 That reminds me of one my kids used to like. What's brown and sticky?...a stick! Sounds like a turtle question. 1 Quote
Don Coatney Posted August 28, 2016 Author Report Posted August 28, 2016 Sounds like a turtle question. Are you a turtle? I have been one for about 50 years. Still carry my card. Secret password required. Quote
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