courtesy a thing of the past ?

[knighthawk]

there used to be a thing called ' courtesy' , where if you couldn't , or wouldn't, show up , or do something, you would call and say so ! What gets me, is , ...how many times have you been told, ''I'll be there "' at a certain time, or, I'll stop buy and get this part, and NEVER show up , or call ???...............just letting off a little steam here, thanks

[Plymouthy Adams]

member of choir here...hear you loud and clear preacher...just please don't duck..we lose more choir member that way...

[aero3113]

I hear ya! Also how hard is it for someone to say thank you when you hold a door open for them.

[BobT-47P15]

You'd think at least the grandkids could say thanks for the birthday

card with money included, but it seems neither they nor their

mother see it as important.

[Jim Yergin]

You'd think at least the grandkids could say thanks for the birthday

card with money included, but it seems neither they nor their

mother see it as important.

They might if they didn't receive anything the next year.

Jim Yergin

[RobertKB]

I taught junior high for over 30 years (retired 5 years now) and saw manners change in that time. Most, but not all, kids just have never been taught good manners so it is the parent's fault, not theirs. Unfortunately, in the future, they will teach their kids the same lack of manners. Example, I would be talking to a colleague a couple of feet away and a student would just walk right between us to get where he/she was going. I would just grab them, haul them back, and politely explain it was rude to walk between two people talking. Most were surprised to learn that but would go around afterwards. Doesn't take much to teach manners.

[BobT-47P15]

Yes, Jim - we've considered that approach.

[Edward Roberts]

I taught junior high for over 30 years (retired 5 years now) and saw manners change in that time. Most, but not all, kids just have never been taught good manners so it is the parent's fault, not theirs...

Amen! When I correct young'uns they look at me like I have corn growing out of my ears. And it's no wonder based upon how their parents act at the ball field or choir concert or...

My own children are required - as was I - to exhibit proper etiquette and manners. They are also given consistent role models at home. My son is 15 and is currently reading his fourth book on How to be a Gentleman. He's really gotten into it and I am glad. Makes for one proud daddy.

[pflaming]

I certainly identify with the previous sentiments. I am currently taking, for credit, a graduate course on Shakespeare in Production. It is focused on the drama aspect. Many nights, four hour class every Monday night, I sit nearly repulsed at how immorality and disrespect is presented as "hilarious". As Hamlet said, " . . . something is rotten in Denmark", yet we must hold the line as best we can where we can. I'm 72 in a class with a 50ish feminist, maybe lesbian professor and mostly late 20 aged students. It is NOT a P15 / Pilot-house group. Six classes to go!!!!! In some ways I would rather see Texas defeat my Huskers than . . . but Shakespeare is still very intriguing.

[Don Coatney]

I would just grab them, haul them back,

I dont think you could get by with that in this country today

[RobertKB]

I dont think you could get by with that in this country today

It does sound a bit harsh. Perhaps I should have said gently grab them and move them back nicely,,,,,,,,however, it really was grab them and haul them back,,,,,,,,, but done respectfully. I had taught at the the school forever and most kids and parents knew exactly where I was coming from. Never had an issue trying to teach kids manners. Most kids actually appreciated being taught manners whether like the above, in class, parent nights, etc. I would tell them manners cost nothing but can help you a lot.

[desoto1939]

I totaly agree with all of your comments. What irks me is that after attending a graduatiionparty the graduate does not have the manners to write thank you notes. I have received them but you know that the parent wrote them.

I have taught my two daughters that when you recieve a gift or present to always acknowledge the sending.

On one good point I chaperone with my daughters competitive marching band and at least I can say that these young ladies and gentleman are very polite and when we help them with their uniforms or their equipment or hold the doors so they can get their stuff back into the school they always reply with a thank you.

So all of the next generation is not so bad. Its just that alot of the kids and adults have never been taught respect. It is sad that this is happening but we as parents, grandparents still need to demand respect and if we do not get the respect then we need to embarasse the them into learning what being a future adult requires in our society. We are getting more into the ME Generation and Hel_ with you aspect. Time to get off my soapbox.

Rich Hartung:cool:-

[Plymouthy Adams]

well..I am sure there may yet be a few who may send a thank you....but with "texting" so prevalent, I am not so sure they could spell properly and so the odds are you would never understand all of what they said..

[55 Fargo]

there used to be a thing called ' courtesy' , where if you couldn't , or wouldn't, show up , or do something, you would call and say so ! What gets me, is , ...how many times have you been told, ''I'll be there "' at a certain time, or, I'll stop buy and get this part, and NEVER show up , or call ???...............just letting off a little steam here, thanks

Happened this past Sunday, the Guy who bought my old parts car, was supposed to pick up some of the parts, and did not show, or phone, I wasn't going anywhere, so it was no big deal, and he has done this a few times...

[bearheart]

RobertKB: If you "just grabbed" a kid today you'd be arrested, fired and possibly legally restricted from any child related activity or work. No more scouts, little league, youth group etc., forever. Thats a big part of whats contributing to the problem. The kids all know thier rights and school administrators cave in every time cause they don't want to stain thier own record and ability to earn the big, big bucks. My part time retirement job is as a school bus driver. Don't get me started!

[RobertKB]

Maybe we are a little less politically correct in Canada but I doubt it. When I say grab, I mean take their arm, and pull them back the way they came. No harm done physically or emotionally. I also used to call all the girls "dear" in class and never once heard a thing about it from administration or parents and the kids never complained. Guess it was because I called them all dear. It's an English thing and my parents were that way and so was I although I grew up in Canada. Anyway, I don't envy you your part time job and I am also sure that in the five years since I retired, things have likely changed.....not for the better. The thing that annoyed me the most at the end of my career was all the B.S. paperwork that had to be done.

Edited October 27, 2010 by RobertKB
Spelling

[Plymouthy Adams]

in the south if we say dear(as in oh dear, here we go again) or use the term bless their heart(they don't know any better)..its almost fighting words.. and boy did I get a older type on my case...I used the word lady..it is evident that she did not know the meaning of the word...she worried that one like a dog with a bone..(yes, that word comes to mind)

[55 Fargo]

in the south if we say dear(as in oh dear, here we go again) or use the term bless their heart(they don't know any better)..its almost fighting words.. and boy did I get a older type on my case...I used the word lady..it is evident that she did not know the meaning of the word...she worried that one like a dog with a bone..(yes, that word comes to mind)

Both of those cliches are common in this part of Canada, especially with the older folks.

[Captain Neon]

I totaly agree with all of your comments. What irks me is that after attending a graduatiionparty the graduate does not have the manners to write thank you notes. I have received them but you know that the parent wrote them.

I have taught my two daughters that when you recieve a gift or present to always acknowledge the sending.

On one good point I chaperone with my daughters competitive marching band and at least I can say that these young ladies and gentleman are very polite and when we help them with their uniforms or their equipment or hold the doors so they can get their stuff back into the school they always reply with a thank you.

So all of the next generation is not so bad. Its just that alot of the kids and adults have never been taught respect. It is sad that this is happening but we as parents, grandparents still need to demand respect and if we do not get the respect then we need to embarasse the them into learning what being a future adult requires in our society. We are getting more into the ME Generation and Hel_ with you aspect. Time to get off my soapbox.

Rich Hartung:cool:-

Band kids are a cut above the typical HS student. To have even a decent marching band program, there is a certain amount of sacrifice and dedication that even athletes do not understand.

The marching band gets to practice only when the football team isn't using the field, and the field crew isn't attending to it. Often two-a-day practices all summer, morning before cutting hay and evening after getting the hay up. Parents that haven't taken the time to teach good manners don't encourage their kids to participate in a rather thankless endeavour, and kids of such parents aren't willing to put in the effort any ways.

Also, the amount of discipline and teamwork required to put on a good field show is some thing the average athlete does not understand. The most people they may have to deal w/ is 10 others at a time. In marching band, one is on a precision team with dozens if not over 100 people.

I still remember the struggles my HS band director had when he tried to build a marching band program. After trying for a couple of years w/ almost no support from parents and administration, he gave up on doing a field show and limited himself to spelling out a "BPHS" in Braille w/ the kids that would show up while we played a couple of tunes at half time. Instead, he chose to put his effort w/ a handful of kids that were willing to put in the work to build a good jazz ensemble.

He ended up leaving our school district after 6 years to much success in California with both marching bands and jazz ensembles. In the 17 years since, no music teacher has remained in the school district for more than just a few years. All, when candid, admit that the lack of moral support from parents was what drove them to an other school district.

[pflaming]

Names! An acquintence of mine grew up thinking his first name was "Dammit", his Dad always said, "Dammit George, do it . . .":D

[48Dodger]

there used to be a thing called ' courtesy' , where if you couldn't , or wouldn't, show up , or do something, you would call and say so ! What gets me, is , ...how many times have you been told, ''I'll be there "' at a certain time, or, I'll stop buy and get this part, and NEVER show up , or call ???...............just letting off a little steam here, thanks

Ok Knighthawk, you got everyone good and fired up....what happened?

48D

[Don Coatney]

Courtesy.

Two women happened to meet at a social gathering. One was a very wealthy northern lady and the other a very refined southern belle. These two not having met before started a conversation as follows.

The northern lady commented that when her first child was born that her husband bought her a huge house. The southern belle responded "my that is darling".

The northern lady then said that when hed second child was born that her husband hired a maid and nanny to take care of the children and the southern belle responded "my that is darling".

The northern lady then said when her third child was born that her husband made a huge addition to the house including a childrens wing and swimming pool to which the southern belle responded "my that is darling".

The northern lady then asked what did your husband do for you when your children were born. The southern lady responded that her husband sent her to the best charm school the south had to offer. The northern lady responded "well, why did he do that when he could have spent more money and done so much more. What did you learn there?

The southern bell responded "it was there that I learned to say my that is darling instead of who gives a $hit!"

[Robert Horne]

there used to be a thing called ' courtesy' , where if you couldn't , or wouldn't, show up , or do something, you would call and say so ! What gets me, is , ...how many times have you been told, ''I'll be there "' at a certain time, or, I'll stop buy and get this part, and NEVER show up , or call ???...............just letting off a little steam here, thanks

This situation is the way it is when trying to sell something. A person calls saying, "will be there" at a certain time, and never shows up or calls. My family would often call asking for me to help. I would go at a certain time, and no one was home. That is a wasted 20 mile trip and my time. Not a call.

[knighthawk]

WOW! I guess this "problem" is a little more common than I thought ! I'm glad to know I'm not alone here. It's just that when you go out of your way a little, cause someone's comming a long way to get or buy something, or just to say 'hello', and you make sure you stay home that day.......and nothing.............

[Young Ed]

Here's a story of the last time something like this happened to me. After we got married we bought a 46"tv and a new stand. Put the old one for free on craigslist. Got an email right away from someone a few miles north who said her daughter was coming home from her honeymoon and she wanted to surprise her with this. Asked if I would deliver. I said sure for $5 in gas. Called her after work and her little kid answers and says shes not available to come to the phone and she took a message. Gave her like two hours and she never called back so I gave it to the next person who had responded.

Now this is funny too. They did show up as they said. I had put all the measurements on craigslist and they didnt bother to check. I'm not sure the two of them knew how to operate a tape measure. So after it didn't fit in their extremely crusty blazer I gave them the same deal $5 in gas and I'll deliver. So the three of us get it all loaded and then their truck wont start. So I drove one of them to SA to get starter fluid and collected my $5 gas and then got their truck started. What an ordeal!