Famous Last Words

[Niel Hoback]

A neutron walks into a bar and says "How much for a beer?" The bartender says "No charge for you".

[Uncle-Pekka]

Once upon a time in a german bierstube;

"Those leather shorts sure look stupid on a big man like you"

[Uncle-Pekka]

"I do."

[Frank Elder]

A neutron walks into a bar and says "How much for a beer?" The bartender says "No charge for you".

And the science award goes to.........Niel!

[Job~Rated]

"Gee....That's a cute tattoo...."

[Fireball]

This is easy fix...

Been there done that!

Wife was sweeping the terrace with a broom, and hubby walks by stating " Do you have a flight tonight"?

[Merle Coggins]

When I nod my head you hit it with the hammer."

[Job~Rated]

Wife: 'What's on the TV?'

Husband: 'Dust'.

[jd52cranbrook]

wow,, didnt realize we were holding all this good information in.

[LAKOTA169]

Wife: I want to go someplace I've never been before.

Husband: Try the kitchen.

Don't worry, it's not loaded.

[41/53dodges]

two guys walk into a bar and get knocked out. the other walks around and says "watch where you are going"

[builtfercomfort]

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."

-- General John Sedgwick, just before getting killed by a Confederate sharp-shooter at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, May of 1864.

[BeBop138]

Do you feel lucky Punk---make my day!

[DutchEdwin]

where do these left over parts go.....oh I remember, in the drawer.

The wife doing the fire truck: "do this..do that..do this..do that.."

Oh if you feel good, don't worry, you'll get over it

[Frank Elder]

I'm not gonna hit ya, I'm not gonna hit ya, the hell I'm not gonna hit ya!

[Job~Rated]

"I think it's trying to communicate..."

"I've seen this done on TV..."

"You're the spitting image of Charles Manson..."

"Let it down slowly..."

"I wonder where the mother bear is?"

"Gotti schmotti....Get off my lawn!"

[kevinanderson]

"The dumb a** that designed this otta be shot".

[bearheart]

Top gun wannabe to rear seat man "watch this".

[bobjob55]

just tighten it till it starts to strip,,, then back it off a 1/2 turn ......

[1947PLEVY]

HURRY...HURRY.....CALL 911, cause I don't know the number.

[faucet47custom]

While you were out chasing that one 10, I was out bagging ten 1's

Where's the cutting torch......

Lets go to the Strip club at 3pm on a Wednesday, walk out at 4am on Thursday, then look at the $3000 in reciepts and bar tabs....that was an interesting day.

[randroid]

Gents,

(From my Lady Wife Lynn)

"We want to see you in the office!"

-Randy

[41/53dodges]

"whoever built this otta have it stuffed up their a**!

[Flatie46]

Tiger Woods " Your sure you won't tell anyone, I mean this is just our little secret right?"

It's gotta work cause we ain't got no money!

I've fixed alotta things with my big hammer thank you!

It used to run.

Well it's been a good car.

Second place is first place looser.

I saw one just like it go for $50,000 on Barrett Jacksum

Army ranger was once asked why he carried a 45. Reply, Cause they don't make a 46.

[RobertKB]

A Word to Husbands

To keep your marriage brimming

With love in the loving cup,

Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;

Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Ogden Nash