School of hard knocks

[Norm's Coupe]

This one is car related.

As mentioned I use to be on the road a lot in sales. Was in Lake Geneva, WI on a very windy day calling on customers. In between appointments I stopped at a gas station to use the restroom. After taking care of natures call I went back to the car to get in it to go to the next customer. Just as I was getting in the car a big gust of wind came along and pushed the door so hard it caught my head between the door and the top of the door opening on the top. Ouch! That really did not feel too good for several minutes. Almost knocked me out.

How many of you have gotten your head caught in the car door?

No, didn't sell the car, couldn't it wasn't mine, it belonged to the company.

[david lazarus]

A buddy and I laugh (now) over our short career in fence building. He is on his tractor, using the head of the rear mounted post hole borer as a ram to tap down a post that I am holding.

The screw part of the borer is held out of the way by a piece of bailing twine, which unknown to us is chaffing through during the repetitive hammering on the post. At just the wrong second it breaks free, swings down just as he released the unit for another smack on the top of the post.

The tip of the borer becomes implanted through my right foot and pins my foot to the ground (read screams of blue VERY blue language) so he releases me from being pinned to the planet.....hole through foot and smashed bones.

Off to ER.... buddy is feeling real bad about all this, doctor decides to dig in my foot for dirt and pieces of shoe....askes if I am feeling OK?.. "I'm good" I say (anesthetic). A second later my buddy who was watching hits the floor, gashes his head and ends up in the bed beside me.

6 weeks later foot is better and his stiches are out !!

[martybose]

My favorite dumb move story, and a postscript.

A number of years ago the shop that I hung out at had a customer that had a 32 Ford that we put a 440 Mopar in as a bracket racer. We built it with a mild 4 barrel engine, my Mother could drive it.

Well, it wasn't fast enough for him, so we put in a bigger cam and a tunnel ram. Now he can't get it started. The car is at the shop, the distributor was taken out and worked on, now it's time to start it up again. Since it is inclined to backfire through the carbs when not timed right, I get some clean rags and put them on the fender where I can grab them to snuff out a carb fire. The phone rings, I go to answer it, come back a while later. We try to start it, it backfires, the rear carb catches on fire, no big deal, I grab the rags and go to snuff out the flames. Imagine my surprise when instead of snuffing out the flames, my hand immediately disappears in a big ball of fire! Much cursing ensues, finally get it all out, didn't lose more than all of the hair on the back of my hand.

It turned out that while I was on the phone, one of the other guys decided to change the jets in the carb, and he used my nice clean rags to catch all of the fuel in the fuel bowls when he took them off the change the jets. Then he just left the rags where he found them. We had a big talk about that!!

As a postscript, the guys said it was still too slow, wouldn't run out of the 12's. The shop owner and I took the car to the dragstrip, fiddled with a few things, then he took it up to the starting line. Did a good burnout, staged, and launched the car with the front end about 18" off of the ground. When he shifted the Torqueflite into second, it actually ripped the ends off of a pair of Strange axles that we had in the rearend. It would have been a mid 10 second run if it hadn't broke. We told the driver he needed to learn how to drive it! That was the last time he complained about it.

Marty

[Guest 49 pilot]

I had a 1985 buick park ave, it had the self locking trunk,,,,the kind you shut gently,,,then its motor draws the trunk lid in tight....well I got my friends four fingers on his left hand stuck in it,,,as it tightened down,,,,poor carle....he was yelling,,,OPEN THE TRUNK,,,MY HAND IS GETTING CRUSHED,!!!! it sure is difficult to do something when you are in the middle of a laughing fit.....he survived,,,no broken bones,,,,

[62rebelP23]

here's one for the "completely random self-injury" file:

walking across the bedroom barefoot after taking a shower, i kick out at an errant shoe on the bedside rug. except my foot stops dead, as my long toe has caught in a loop of carpet and is under my foot... a LOUD and CLEAR "snap" is heard, and i realize that AGAIN i've managed to break my toe IN my house NOT working on a car, where i USUALLY do dumb things.

shortly thereafter i removed ALL the carpet from the house except my Dad's room. i broke that same toe when i was twelve years old.....

[Jims50chrysler]

About 12 years ago I was using a 4.5 inch angle grinder on something....of coarse the side handle was not on the grinder as they always get in the way, well the grinder caught and spun out of my hand and landed on my right leg, just above my knee. The direction of rotation caused the grinder to head "north" I managed to get ahold of the grinder as it was twisting my coveralls and undershorts into a very uncomforatable mess. I managed to hold the grinder away from my body untill the fuse blew in the house. fortunatly I only recieved a scratch from above my knee to my.........well where I was able to stop it.

The grinder has had a handle on it ever since.

Jim

[anthonyb]

Many moons ago while helping my dad build a garage we were putting the rafter/joist assemblies in place. Built them on the ground and hoisted them into place. Dad's hand slipped off the top peak and it made like a very good pendulum right into the back of my head. Kinda hard to say what I wanted to with mommy standing right there.

Maybe that's why I am the way I am now.........dain bramage:confused:

[Joe Flanagan]

OK, that last one just about killed me. I'm actually crying, I'm laughing so hard. Norm getting his head slammed in the door was pretty good too.

[Normspeed]

I did that once with a 46 Ford. I chalk up my survival to being young with flexible head bones, but man I could feel the old skull flexing.

Norm , I agree, forgetting to chuck up a bit is an excellent reason to buy a new drill press.

Just as I was getting in the car a big gust of wind came along and pushed the door so hard it caught my head between the door and the top of the door opening on the top. Ouch! That really did not feel too good for several minutes. Almost knocked me out.

How many of you have gotten your head caught in the car door?

No, didn't sell the car, couldn't it wasn't mine, it belonged to the company.

[Niel Hoback]

Well, I have been holding off, but you all asked for it. I could do this whole thread myself, but then no one would believe I am still alive.

Picture me as a kid of about 110 lbs laying under the back end of a 64 Impala. I was using a 1/2" drill to make holes for a trailer hitch. Just as the bit was about to brek through, it caught and grabbed a good hold of the car body. Since I was holding the drill with both hands, it had that handle on the side, I didn't want to drop it , so I held tight, squeezing the trigger. It screwed me around almost a whole 380 degrees catching the cord on me somewhere. That pulled the plug out of the extension cord and stopped the drill. Scared me pretty good too. My brother-in-law, whose car it was, would not stop laughing to help me get out of there, either.

I have more stories of stupid than this forum is ready for, or would believe.

It's best you don't encourage me.

[Young Ed]

Neil keep em coming. This is great. After all the bonehead things I've admitted to in here at least I know none of you will ask me to work on your car now!

Here's another one although this wasn't my fault. Before we had our cabin it was just 6acres that we camped on. One time while unhooking our tent trailer Dad got the hitch all undone but forgot the safety chains. He goes to pull the car ahead while I am still standing behind it from helping unhook. Chains pull the trailer tongue off the blocks and right onto my foot!

[Guest jtw3749c]

I haven't posted for awhile, been busy Powder Coating. But, I have got to tell this one. I had a 12 ft. Aluminum fishing boat that was on a trailer, that had no stand on the tongue, so it sat on the ground. Well, I worked the road at that time, about 25 yrs or so ago. Well while I was busy working, it had rained a few times and of course the rain filled the front with water. It sat for a couple of weeks while I was working. So when I decided I'd had enough working for a few days, I decided that I wanted to go fishing. Well, when I got the truck in place to hook up the trailer, I found that there was no way I was going to lift it up.

So, my wife, being the Gal she is offered to give me a hand and I said there wasn't any way she was going to be able to lift it. Now, she was about 115 lbs, at that time. So I told her to ( now wait for the end ) go sit on the back of the boat, but to put her feet inside so if I couldn't hold onto it that her feet wouldn't be underneath. So she did. Well I lifted up on the boat, and man was it heavy with all that stanky warm water in it. Well we all know that you don't stop water from moving toward a slope. That boat flipped up, jerking me off the ground hit me on the chin and rolling her out the back and if that wasn't bad enough, all that stanky warm smelly water hit her helping her roll out of the boat and down on the ground !!PLOP!! SPLASH!! She got up uttering words I AIN'T NEVER heard come out of her mouth. Well, I had a lot of sucking up to do, let me tell you. But at least the only thing that got hurt was her pride, my chin and my behind, where she kicked me and swore never to do that again!!

Sorry for the long post, but after reading the others, I got to chuckling and had to tell it. Course she would whack me a good one if she knew.

[Niel Hoback]

How many of us have backed out of the garage and rammed our other car? Thas how I found out that my insurance won't pay for damage I do to my own stuff. I was so mad at myself that I didn't need any help from my wife when she came out to see what the big bang was.

[Normspeed]

Knocked my motorcycle over backing my Bronco out of the driveway.

[Niel Hoback]

I warned you that this would happen. One day old stupid here decided to check out the underside of my 78 Volare. I put the bottle jack under the right front control arm and raised the car until the tire was about 3" off the driveway. Laying on my right side, I slid under far enough to look up at the oil pan. Thats when I noticed the bottle jack was lifting the car by a bolt head on the conrol arm.

That was the exact second that I saw it violently pop out and shoot to the rear. I didn't see anymore because thats when the bumper folded me in half lengthwise.

Funny thing is that it didn't hurt much, and I went and jacked it up AGAIN.

Later that evening, after I had supper, I was in my lazyboy and found that I could not move without sudden severe pain.

I tried to go to bed but it was useless, I went to the ER and passed out when the x-ray tech told me to hold a sandbag weighing 5 pounds for the next x-ray.

I still cannot raise my left arm straight up.

I warned you this would happen if you encouraged me.

I promise, no more. I should probably save it for a book.

[Norm's Coupe]

Some of these are really funny.

Just thought of another bone head thing I once did on my first motorcycle back in the late 70's.

Took the bike to the store to pick up some cigarettes. Was a Yamaha 360 street bike with kick start. Got out of the store and onto the bike, then started rolling it backwards (motor not started yet) out of the parking space. Once in the driving lane of the lot I stood up and hit the kick start with my foot. All of a sudden, the bike takes a leap out from under me. I jumped off real fast and let it go to the ground. Had forgot to check and make sure it wasn't in gear when I hit the starter. Neither me or the bike got hurt, not even a scratch, except my pride.

Yep, you guessed it. A couple of months later I was at the Yamaha dealer trading it in on a new Yamaha 400 street bike with electric start and I only had about 500 miles on the 360 at the time. :D

[Jims50chrysler]

Put a 305 in my S10 along with a turbo 350 transmission then on start-up with no neutral saftey switch and the truck in reverse the truck took off out of the garage with my drivers door still open it wrapped my custom paint job door around and into my custom paint job fender. The silver with blue scalops, lowered, fender skirted S10 looked fantastic with a cream color door and fender for the rest of it's life.

Jim

[PatS....]

This one involves my first 1949 Chrysler while my Dad owned it, about 1967 or 68.

The dead of winter, 20 below and the car has to be put in the garage.

Well, he thought he would drive over to the store and get milk and cigarettes for the next day as well.

30 minutes later he walks in the door, just frozen and covered in snow.

Mom says, "What happened, did the car quit?"

"$h!t!!!!!" Dad says.

He had left it running in front of the store and walked home!!!!!

[billwillard]

In my way younger years I bought a 1919 stanly steamer. It had not been run for about 30yrs and the guy I bought it from knew nothing about it. Well old smart a-- here thinks he can figure any thing out. I did get it steamed up and had the barn full of steam so decided it best to try to move it outside. Now what do those three pedals on the floor do? I tryed pushing each one but nothing happened. The throttle (I Know now) was a lever on the steering colum that I pulled down which ment it was wide open. Nothing I did would make this car move. Not knowing the throdle was wide open I reached down to the running board and started turning the valves that were there. When closing one of these valves the car flew out the door. OH SHI-. I was very quick to push the clutch in to stop this thing. OH NO. Thats no clutch, its reverse. Pedal to the floor reverse, let it out and you go foward. Cant tell you how many times I went in and out of the barn before I simply reached up and pushed the throttle closed. After going to the house and changing my pants I had a lot of fun filled hours in that car. Funny how dumb you can be when young. Come to think of it much hasn't changed.

[hkestes41]

Had a 62 Impala 2 dr hardtop when I was 17, 327 with three 2bbls and a 4 speed. Took the radiator to the shop to have it boiled out and a couple of small leaks fixed.

Put the repaired radiator back in and fired it up no leaks. Next morning go out to go to school, pull out of the driveway down to the stop sign at the corner. A friend was coming up to the sign from the other direction in his 68 Camaro. Of course being the testosterone laden show-off that I was back then I mashed the loud pedal to the floor and dumped the clutch to show him what a real car would do.

That is when I heard an awful noise. rolled over to the curb popped the hood and there was a 1/2 inch open end wrench sticking through the radiator core. Guess it had been left on the engine or fan shroud or something.

[Young Ed]

That cracks me up. Poor radiator! I think I'm out of stupid gear head stories to contribute( I think I admitted to enough). Keep em coming guys

[Joe Flanagan]

One time I was driving from Boston down to Cape Cod to help my father do some painting. It was a freezing cold day and I had a 1974 Dodge Dart that had definitely seen better days. I wish I had that car now. Anyway, I got in it and started it up and I had no heat. The blower would just blow ice cold air. I decided to drive anyway in the hope that it would heat up but it never did. I drove as long as I could stand it and when I was freezing my butt off, I pulled off the highway to call my Dad and ask him what I should do. He told me to put a piece of cardboard in front of the radiator. I found a dumpster behind a restaurant and got a piece of cardboard. The car heated right up. But it kept on heating up. I didn't know sh(*!* about cars at the time. I was barreling along at 65, wondering why my temp gauge was skyrocketing, wondering why I could smell antifreeze. When the Massachusetts state trooper pulled me over for speeding, a giant cloud of steam started rising all around my car. It was finished. I had to call for a ride. We eventually got it going again but I don't think it was ever the same after that. I had it for another few years. I don't recall if my father ever told me to take the cardboard out at a certain point. He probably did.

[Norm's Coupe]

I can only think of one other funny thing happening to me and cars.

Had a 57 Ford in the early 60's and the head gasket blew on the right side not long after buying the car. Removed all the head bolts then tried to pull the head off the engine. That thing wouldn't budge. (Keep in mind the 57 Ford had one of those pain in the rear hoods that opens to the front of the car. To me they are harder to work under than hoods that open to the front.) Still couldn't get it to budge even with tapping on the head a little. Finally I decide to get up close and personal. Sat on the fender with my feet down inside the engine compartment braced on whatever I could find. Gently lifted and still wouldn't budge. Tapped the head a little more, then grabbed it and gave it a good yank. That thing then released all of a sudden as I yanked on it. I then went flying backwards into the yard on my back, releasing the head off to the side of me as I fell backwards so it wouldn't land on me when I hit the ground. Moral of that story is don't sit on a fender and try to yank on something real hard, especially if it's something like a V8 head.

[Young Ed]

Norm you are lucky you didn't take a head to the head.

[Norm's Coupe]

Norm you are lucky you didn't take a head to the head.

You got that right and flying on my back didn't feel too good either. But the head did come off. Think I also broke at least one or two spark plugs in the process.

The really bad part about that little exercise though, it turned out to be a big waste of time. A few weeks after replacing that head, it threw a rod as I was going down the toll road doing the speed limit. I was able to drive it home, but that engine never started after that again. After that I picked up a 390 Police Interceptor engine out of a new 63 Ford at the bone yard that had been totaled. It only had a few thousand miles on it when I got it. That car would fly after putting that engine in it. :D