Bits of wit or jokes that backfired

[Bobacuda]

Not quite a workplace prank, but still a good one that backfired on me. 

There I am, wasting my youth, making the world safe from communism.    In the photo I am an E-4 (Third Class Petty Officer).  I am 19, about to turn 20 in the photo.  I had 6 or 7 guys working for me at the time.  Anyhow, this is what we called the Good Humor Man (an ice cream truck man) uniform (minus my white hat).  That is my first Cuda (383, auto.  Had to sell it to afford graduate school).

 

One hot and muggy Saturday in August we were having a base-wide personnel inspection.  When they finally got to my Division, I was told by the alcoholic XO of Chase NAS (a Navy Captain) that the backside of my white belt was too dirty to wear (sweat and oil from using my hands to adjust the belt.  He also informed me "that it did not match my white hat."  OK, try not to sweat in Beeville, TX on a 100 degree plus and about 80% humidity day, when you have been standing in a heavily starched uniform, at “Parade Rest” or “Attention” from 10:00 to 1:00 on a concrete runway. 

 

So, with quicker wit than brains, I made a smart-ass remark that my belt did indeed match my hat, and I removed my hat and showed him the sweatband on the inside…he was not as amused as my fellow enlisted men.  For that bit of shared wit, I got to have all of my stuff inspected and pulled apart every two days (junk-on-the-bunk inspection), plus work extra duty shifts (real crap work) for the next 4 weeks (including weekends).  Oh, and they made me throw the hat away on the runway, which is why I don’t have one on in the photo.

 

Looking back, it was worth it.  I got to keep my dignity and my friends laughed their butts off.

 

BTW, during the Viet Nam War era, some dumbass convinced the upper military officers that enlisted men really liked to have personnel inspections – that made them good for morale.  A real Einstein came up with that morale booster – especially during the Viet Nam War.  Hell, all of us in the Navy were there to avoid being drafted into the Army or Marines.  My Division Commander and his two kiss-ass Chiefs put us through an inspection every morning for work uniforms and every month for dress uniforms.

[Young Ed]

nice crew cab  dodge in the background

 

[JBNeal]

Our ofc.mgr was openly lamenting her impending 40th bday for months...I overheard a couple of the guys conspiring one day and much to their delight, mentioned to them that I had in my attic a wheelchair from the 60s (chrome rims, frame, and footrests, blue vinyl seat and armrests), so I lugged that filthy hunk out and gave it a thorough cleaning.  On her special day, we swapped out her chair, and they set up their pranks, as she normally arrived at work over an hour after us engineers.  Much to our surprise, she got mad, being very quiet and in control, just simmering under the surface judging from her clenched jaw and gritted teeth while asking her fave ppl where her chair was...they produced it, and she pushed that old wheelchair quietly down the long hallway to the lobby while the guys quickly dismantled their pranks planted around the office...I took that wheelchair out of the building when no one was looking a few hrs later, and the mood in the office for a couple weeks was tense with everyone on eggshells around her...less than a month later, I got laid off for dubious reasons, during our busiest time of the year while I was quite involved in multiple projects...weeks later, me and some of the guys wondered if that was the straw that broke the camel's back, as I had inadvertently stepped on quite a few toes during the course of doing my job for 6+ yrs, and she had a LOT of sway with the engineering manager, the company VP and the company president...and as circumstances have unfolded over the last 6+ yrs, that was the last office prank I pulled, as every place that I have worked since has been populated with ppl who do not have a good sense of humor...se la vie 

[Don Coatney]

Bad boys always have the most fun. But you and I already know that and I have no regrets.

[Frank Elder]

On 8/22/2017 at 8:21 PM, Bobacuda said:

Not quite a workplace prank, but still a good one that backfired on me. 

There I am, wasting my youth, making the world safe from communism.    In the photo I am an E-4 (Third Class Petty Officer).  I am 19, about to turn 20 in the photo.  I had 6 or 7 guys working for me at the time.  Anyhow, this is what we called the Good Humor Man (an ice cream truck man) uniform (minus my white hat).  That is my first Cuda (383, auto.  Had to sell it to afford graduate school).

 

One hot and muggy Saturday in August we were having a base-wide personnel inspection.  When they finally got to my Division, I was told by the alcoholic XO of Chase NAS (a Navy Captain) that the backside of my white belt was too dirty to wear (sweat and oil from using my hands to adjust the belt.  He also informed me "that it did not match my white hat."  OK, try not to sweat in Beeville, TX on a 100 degree plus and about 80% humidity day, when you have been standing in a heavily starched uniform, at “Parade Rest” or “Attention” from 10:00 to 1:00 on a concrete runway. 

 

So, with quicker wit than brains, I made a smart-ass remark that my belt did indeed match my hat, and I removed my hat and showed him the sweatband on the inside…he was not as amused as my fellow enlisted men.  For that bit of shared wit, I got to have all of my stuff inspected and pulled apart every two days (junk-on-the-bunk inspection), plus work extra duty shifts (real crap work) for the next 4 weeks (including weekends).  Oh, and they made me throw the hat away on the runway, which is why I don’t have one on in the photo.

 

Looking back, it was worth it.  I got to keep my dignity and my friends laughed their butts off.

 

BTW, during the Viet Nam War era, some dumbass convinced the upper military officers that enlisted men really liked to have personnel inspections – that made them good for morale.  A real Einstein came up with that morale booster – especially during the Viet Nam War.  Hell, all of us in the Navy were there to avoid being drafted into the Army or Marines.  My Division Commander and his two kiss-ass Chiefs put us through an inspection every morning for work uniforms and every month for dress uniforms.

So in this picture you are parked in the TRAWING 3 parking lot.......?

 

 

 

 

[Bobacuda]

I think they called the Flight Simulator group TRANAV-29 at the time.  This is the parking lot behind the building - I would be looking at the bldg.  The old buildings (torn down and replaced several years later) behind me and the Sweptline truck belonged to the SeaBees on the base.  They were tearing down old buildings the entire time I was there, at a rate that would make a private contractor laugh.  One of my friends was a SeaBee - we used to kid him that each one of them arrived with a "light duty chit" as soon as they got to the base.