OT Old Guys Just Don't Care OT

[PatS....]

As we age, we tend to end up seeing more of the medical establishment.

For example, my internist referred me to a female urologist.

I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous. She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy.

She told me that I have to stop masturbating.

When I asked her why, she said.......

"Because I'm trying to examine you..."

[Don Coatney]

Pat;

I have about worn that one out. I first heard it about 6 months ago:D

[RobertKB]

But Don, I have never heard it. How naughty!

[Olddaddy]

Well, I guess I'm old enough to not be embarrassed by this now.....many, many years ago after a wonderful weekend with a female friend I exhibited symptoms in my naughty bits that made me worry a bit. As I was poor and too embarrassed to see my regular doctor I went to a local county health clinic. I was ushered into an exam room and told to undress and the doctor would be in shortly. When the doctor arrived, SHE was really gorgeous and with her was an equally gorgeous young female intern..........well imagine the irony of being examined in detail by two incredibly gorgeous women and no chance of anything other than embarrassment and medication being the result........I should be ashamed, but I am too old to give a fart.............

[Tim Frank]

Pat;

I have about worn that one out.

There is an obvious joke there, but in deference to Mr. Coatney's exalted status within these hallowed halls, I won't go there....and on reflection it is too cheap and easy....even for me....

[Niel Hoback]

Yeah, we're all making up our own anyway.

[Young Ed]

It's the summer of 1956 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue.</SPAN>

Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo.

When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in. 'Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?'

Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do. Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's mother responds, 'Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.' Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says, 'Whaaaat?'

'Yeah,' says Peggy Sue's mother, 'We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!'

Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening.

A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, 'Have a good evening kids,' with a small wink for Harold!

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly dishevelled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother:

'Dammit, Mom! It's the Twist! It's called The Twist!!!

[PatS....]

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for

his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to

$500 in price -- the sheerer the higher the price. Naturally he opts

for the sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes it home. He presents it

to his wife and a asks her to go upstairs put it on and model it for

him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy)'I have an idea. It's so

sheer that it might as well be nothing.

I won't put it on but I'll do the modeling without my clothes on (he'll never know the difference)

and I'll return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.'

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500they'd at least iron it!'

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin

[John Mulders]

better watch out when you make such a remark !

John