OT any 24 fans in here?

[Young Ed]

Some 24 jokes that only fans of the show will get.....

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

[D25_Steve]

Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

[Plymouthy Adams]

OK..it peeked my curosity..had to look the dude up...guess that tells you I am not into TV......

[John Mulders]

I am just hoping the stupid women programmer/security expert at CTU gets it, her friend died last season when he died from gas poisining. Should have been her.

She just irritates me so much....

I also wonder why Jack has to shout all the time

John

[Dennis Hemingway]

Tim,

I had to look up the dude also, it dosn't look like a show that I'll stay up for.

Dennis

[Plymouthy Adams]

Couple guys at work..their entire life is TV..they discuss shows that I have not a clue about..Couple of the girls at work always called me Tim the Toolman because of the old cars and such..never had an idea there was a show out there..so I guess in some ways I live under a rock.."Plymouth Rock" that is...

[AJ Johnson]

As a teacher, I have heard several of the above jokes, but with Chuck Norris as the character.

e.g.

What is the quickest way to mans heart?

-Chuck Noris’s fist.

or my personal favorite;

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

AJ

[D25_Steve]

The only reason Jack gave Nina mouth to mouth in Season 2 was because he had to kill her himself.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

Jack Bauer is the only human in the world with the ability to make Chloe O'Brien drop the personality disorder and patch him through.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

When in Jack Bauer's presence, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down

[Plymouthy Adams]

Jack or no Jack..do you really know Jack..

here is the poser..

You are stuck in a cave, there was a cave-in..debris is so thick you could never tunnel out even if you had time and oxygen..however you do have a handsaw and a piece of wood..how do you get out?

as a added touch..if you know this...PM the answer...I will credit right answer after a bit to allow people to take a stab at the answer...

[claybill]

yeah...claybill is a jack bauer fan...but i cant stand the wimp who is presidentil advisor always setting the pres up to do gross over-reactions... funny how this program has characters that sets us all on fire...GO BEARS!!!!

CLAYBILL on the way to milwaukee for our first p15 regional forum meeting...!!!!

[Young Ed]

Ya Chloe gets on my nerves sometimes too. But those 2 guys that are always fitting around her this season are worse!

[Young Ed]

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead.... It just makes him angry.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30

Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f***ing dead."

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?"

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

[Brad Lustig]

I'm kind of surprised that I never got into 24. When I first saw the premise of the show, I thought that I had to watch it. I never saw my first episode until about a year ago. That episode was really good and I thought I might get into it then. Then the next episode was awful all the way around. I liked the Jack Bauer character, but nobody else piqued my interest. I'm tempted to try watching it again.