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One liners way OT


Don Coatney

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  • 2 weeks later...

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl. Box seats plus airline tickets and hotel accommodation.

But he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.

If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St Peter's Church in New York City at 5 pm. Her name's Brenda. She will be the one in the white dress.

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  • 4 weeks later...
 
Philosophers of the 1900s

download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=2&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo   ~ Jean Kerr...
The only reason they say Women and children first 
is to test the strength of the lifeboats. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=3&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ Prince Philip...
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's
either a new car or a new wife. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=4&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ Emo Philips...
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was
no match for me at kickboxing. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=5&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ Harrison Ford...
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and
chop it yourself. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=6&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
   ~ Spike Milligan...
The best cure for Sea Sickness is to sit under a tree. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=7&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ Jean Rostand...
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million
and you're a conqueror. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=8&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~  Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Having more money doesn't make you happier.
I have 50 million dollars, but I'm just as happy as when
I had 48 million. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=9&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ WH Auden...
We are here on earth to do good unto others.
What the others are here for, I have no idea. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=10&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ Jonathan Katz...
In hotel rooms, I worry; I can't be the only guy
who sits on the furniture naked. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=11&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ Johnny Carson...
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today
and all the impersonators would be dead. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=12&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ Warren Tantum...
(School photo album).
I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius
and we're very skeptical. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=13&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ Steve Martin...
Hollywood must be the only place on earth
where you can be fired by a man wearing
a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. 
 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=14&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ Jimmy Durante...
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks
his wife is. 
download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f1%5f1%5fAEBUimIAAARYWC%2bVbwjtKFuEk4w&m=YaDownload&pid=15&fid=Inbox&inline=1&appid=YahooMailNeo
  ~ George Roberts...
The first piece of luggage on the carousel
never belongs to anyone. 
 
Edited by mrwrstory
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