Football OT

[Don Coatney]

I have never much cared for football. In the 7th grade I was told I should play because of my size. The school I went to was short on equipment and as I was a second string recruit they did not have a helmet to fit my enlarged head other than the one worn by the star player. So at my first practice it was my time to join in and the coach tossed the star players helmet to me. I put it on and suddenly my brow was covered with the sweat of the star player as it escaped from the sponge lining of the helmet. I never played football again.

To this day I believe that a tight end must be intoxicated. And I dont know what toe jam football is even though the Beatles used to sing about it. In the early 80's I worked with a guy by the name of Ken Roethlisberger. He was a single father and had a son named Ben. He was frequently a guest in our house and Lisa changed Ben's diapers a time or two. Ben grew up and now plays professional football as most of you know.

Last week Lisa won a football ticket drawing at the real estate office where she works. Looks like tomorrow we will be attending a Middle Tennessee State University football game. These tickets are to accompany the Murfreesboro City Mayor in his private box seating section and include food and drinks. So I have only a few hours to learn everything there is to know about football so I dont talk like a retard. Words of encouragement will be appreciated.

[BobT-47P15]

Go, Don, Go.

[greg g]

Just be quiet enjoy a pleasant fall afternoon, concentrate on the cheerleaders and go to the john before halftime.

Football is an activity in which pitched battles between sweaty behemoths is interuupted by committee meetings lasting longer than the activity itself.

Have a couple of cold ones and find a seat where everyone sits behind you. That way they can't see what yer looking at.

[Merle Coggins]

I believe Andy Griffith told it best...

Here you go

[PatS....]

I believe Andy Griffith told it best...

Here you go

Seems like a good explanation.

Don, if you're with the mayor, ask him about something contoversial and let him spend the rest of the day talkin' about hisself as politicians are want to do...you won't have to know about football at all:D

[captden29]

merls, real funny stuff. shows you that a good clean storyteller is always in vogue. wish i could tell a story like that. i don't know too much more about the sport than andy, but i did break my leg at 12 years old playing the game in our side yard. my career was over. dennis

[Jeff Ivan]

Don, from what I understand from reading your post, your wife won those tickets and does not work for the Mayor. So any advice given here, and any advice you decide to take from us here should not affect your wife's job, hopefully. Free food and drinks? Anyone from the Pittsburgh area would get their money's worth, or in your winners situation, get sloshed and bloated to oblivion, and make sure your wife is driving home! Just be politely obnoxious enough towards the Mayor that he is not offended by you, he would just rather enjoy the game in the company of someone else. Get yourself off the hook early, and you can just be yourself and have fun. Been there,done that. Years ago an ex girlfriend's family had Steelers season tickets. Her dad was a business owner, the seats were in a conglomerate of media and political stuffed shirts section. I was definitely ALWAYS a minority in that seating section, dressed like a typical fan who should be in the "working man's" cheap seats, a resident of the adjoining rural county, so they could not hint about wanting my vote. Also, I am registered to a political party whose mascot is an elephant, theirs was represented by another name for a donkey or a burro, so we politey tolerated each other. But seriously, You don't have to talk a good game or act like a semi-pro sports analyst to have a good time being around people that might make you nervous because of their slightly celebrity status. If ya get to the point of being uneasy around the Mayor, here is what to do: Stand up suddenly and scream along with the rest of the home team fans; reach over and kiss your wife; excuse yourself for a rest room visit. Even people who are not big football fans can get influenced by the excitement generated by a cheering crowd. :) "You just go lay your hands on a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, and I think you're gonna find they understand!" =Charlie Daniels= In America = Oh yeah, we know that 'Ben' fella you referred to in your post.