OT little humor OT

[Plymouthy Adams]

I seldom post jokes but I felt this one should be passed on...my apologies if it offends anyone...look to the humor of it only please..

SWEET TEA HAS ITS ADVANTAGES

A lady enters her doctor's office, all beaten black and blue.

"What happened?" asked her startled physician.

"I just don't know what to do, Doc. Every time my husband

comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp!"

"Well I've got a real good medicine for that," answered the

doctor. "Whenever your husband comes home drunk, just

take a glass of sweet tea and start gargling with it. Just

gargle and gargle. That's all you need to do, just keep gargling."

About three weeks later, the lady returns to the physician's office

looking bright and fresh and reborn.

"Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home

drunk, I immediately began gargling with sweet tea. I gargled and

gargled and gargled, and nothing happened!"

"There now," soothed the doctor, "you see how keeping your mouth shut helps?"

[Don Coatney]

I seldom post jokes but I felt this one should be passed on...my apologies if it offends anyone...look to the humor of it only please..

SWEET TEA HAS ITS ADVANTAGES

A lady enters her doctor's office, all beaten black and blue.

"What happened?" asked her startled physician.

"I just don't know what to do, Doc. Every time my husband

comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp!"

"Well I've got a real good medicine for that," answered the

doctor. "Whenever your husband comes home drunk, just

take a glass of sweet tea and start gargling with it. Just

gargle and gargle. That's all you need to do, just keep gargling."

About three weeks later, the lady returns to the physician's office

looking bright and fresh and reborn.

"Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home

drunk, I immediately began gargling with sweet tea. I gargled and

gargled and gargled, and nothing happened!"

"There now," soothed the doctor, "you see how keeping your mouth shut helps?"

Good story but I dont like sweet tea:rolleyes: Any more good ideas:p

[Flatie46]

I loved it!

[Job~Rated]

Superb!

I needed that.

Here's a couple I heard recently...

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas.

As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.

After that,the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term

'Ship High In Transit'

on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term 'S.H.I.T', (Ship High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a golf term.

*************************

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs.. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone... 'This is our most rigorous program.'

'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'

He lost 63 pounds that week.