I have laways like relevant issues..

[Plymouthy Adams]

nla

[Don Coatney]

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

First off it is not only the weight of the possum but the weight of the possum and her pouch full of unguns possums being the only North American marsupial and all.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?

A. '66 Ford Fairlane B. '69 Chevrolet Chevelle C. '64 Pontiac GTO

Hands down 64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of 'shine per hour,

how many radiators are required to condense the product?

Simple calculation. Delta T times the evaporation rate with a vacuum equation equal to 1/2 negative bar. In other words I guess 5.7 radiators.

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in

a plot to be harvested is 470 trees per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter

is 14". How many Budweiser tall-boys will it take to cut the trees?

Are the tall-boys the ones with the “bold taste and clean finish” what the hell ever that means. I figure it this way. 2700X470(2.3)&14” equals exactly 3 weeks 17 hours 38 minutes and 88 seconds.

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be

the decrease in the ozone layer?

Easy answer. A big fat zero. Old refrigerators run on ammonia not that new fangled freon stuff.

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine at 24 inches on center with a field rock foundation.

The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1" thick rough sawn pine.

When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

That is exactly why I keep my coon dogs in my bedroom.

7. A man owns an Arkansas house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The

man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

Not required. The man should simply upgrade to a double wide.

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph.

The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to

avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles

that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?

I will not answer this question until the police investigation on my daddys death is complete.

9. A coal mine operates an NFPA class 1, division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift.

A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked

during the shift?

Unfiltered camels??? Everyone knows that as long as you have one teeth left that mail pouch is what you use in the mine.

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that

has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

Are you talking about a black or white sheep?

[Norm's Coupe]

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of 'shine per hour,

how many radiators are required to condense the product?

Simple calculation. Delta T times the evaporation rate with a vacuum equation equal to 1/2 negative bar. In other words I guess 5.7 radiators.

If you had ask this question before 1980 when my father passed away, I could have answered that question. From stories I've heard, my grandfather and great grandfather use to run a still down in Litchfield, KY on the farm, so my father would known the answer to that question in the blink of an eye. Then you wouldn't need a formula to figure it out. Yes, both my grandfather and great grandfather died at an early age. Too much moohshine and it got took a toll on their old (young) liver.