Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously (ot)

[Don Coatney]

1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.

2. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Night.

3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.

4. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Wasn't Familiar Territory.

5. 42.7 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The Spot.

6. 99 Percent Of Lawyers Give The Rest A Bad Name.

7. I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe.

8. Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.

9. Remember, Half The People You Know Are Below Average.

10. He Who Laughs Last, Thinks Slowest.

11. Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.

12. The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese.

13. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.

14. Support Bacteria. They're The Only Culture Some People Have.

15. Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7 Of Your Week.

16. A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad Memory.

17. Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending Machines.

18. Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It'll Be A Great Trade!

19. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.

20. Always Try To Be Modest, And Be Proud Of It!

21. If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing A Couple Of Payments.

22. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-kinesis? Raise My Hand.

23 . Ok, So What's The Speed Of Dark?

24. How Do You Tell When You're Out Of Invisible Ink?

25. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Have Obviously Overlooked

Something.

26. When Everything Is Coming Your Way, You're In The Wrong Lane.

27. Hard Work Pays Off In The Future. Laziness Pays Off Now.

28. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Do Not Have Film.

29. If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends?

30. How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges?

31. Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Do Not Get Sucked Into Jet Engines.

32. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?

33. I Couldn't Repair Your Brakes, So I Made Your Horn Louder.

34. Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your Name?

35. Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger Person Wondering What Happened.

36. Just Remember - If The World Did Not Suck, We Would All Fall Off.

37. Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which Is Why Some People Appear Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.

[PatS....]

How true...good ones ,Don. (esp #35)

[Johnny S]

Don....I'm still smiling....good for a Monday morning ---- especially after a loss by the great team from Chicago.

[1just4don]

Looks like to me DaBears just forgot to bring a QB#1 to the party. Everything else was good,cant they afford a good one??? How in the heck did they get to where they got with THAT one!!! DaBears didnt lose that game da QB did!!! Still think they would be an awesome team to beat next year if only they could find a good.......one!

[PatS....]

Which game is this????

[Johnny S]

Oh, just a little gathering south of the border where beer drinking and socializing are the order of the day.

[PatS....]

Oh...I seem to recall a little fuss about a soccer game in one of your quaint little arena's.

[Brad Lustig]

The percentage in #6 seems a little low...

[Johnny S]

Oh...I seem to recall a little fuss about a soccer game in one of your quaint little arena's.

Not that far south

[grey beard]

Don,

What bothers me when you talk like that is that I understand it . . .

[John Mulders]

# 6 is way too low!

Just in the middle of a lawsuit.... unbelievable what they say, how they turn the facts and end up with most money...

John

[Guest Nile Limbaugh]

Don't forget 'Eschew Obfuscation'!! My favorite:D