Christmas cake recipe - way OT but funny

[John Mulders]

Got this from my sister in law , supprisingly she is English....

Christmas Cake

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour

* 1 stick butter

* 1 cup of water

* 1 tsp baking soda

* 1 cup of sugar

* 1 tsp salt

* 1 cup of brown sugar

* Lemon juice

* 4 large eggs

* Nuts

* 1 bottle wine

* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine, again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. At this point it´s best to make sure the wine is still ok! Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Take a glug of wine before breaking 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Grab a sip of wine to help revive yourself after all that hard work! Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine, again. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.

Bingle Jells!

[1940plymouth]

a good way to get into the Christmas spirit by getting into the spirits:)

[Norm's Coupe]

Just eat a good helping of my wife's brandy cranberries, you won't need the wine.

[mackster]

strain your nuts.

Im gona have a hard time following this part of the recipe...

[John Mulders]

I read it too and pictured it.... guess you need to get that part right the first time!