new job?

[belvedere]

I'll try to make this short and to-the-point.  My job is stressful to me and I don't enjoy it.  I've got 2 job offers, but both pay considerably less than my current job.  My wife tells me to take one of them, because she wants me to be happy.  I appreciate that, but I can tell that inside she is worried about the cut in pay.  We are in a smaller town with limited opportunities, and we will not be moving in the foreseeable future.  I know that this is a vague question, and I am the one who has to make the decision, but any general advice from those who may have been in similar situations would be much appreciated!

[Sniper]

Nothing worse than waking up in the morning and dreading going to work.  Followed closely by waking up in the morning wondering how you are going to pay the bills.

 

Go back to the offers and counter offer on the pay.  If you can come to terms with them move on.

[Plymouthy Adams]

I agree with Sniper, counter a bit if you can....if they refuse, at least they are not in a position to fire you either.   Layout and be ready to present to the boss what benefit it would be for you to be in their employment.   Best wishes for improving your work environment.

Edited April 6, 2022 by Plymouthy Adams

[vintage6t]

As was mentioned prior, it's a tradeoff happiness vs. money.  I was in a similar situation about 3 years ago. I had a very well paying high level corporate job, I woke up miserable and stressed to the max every morning. I never had any money worries though. I'm not an extravagant person but even if I was I could afford pretty much whatever I wanted without any worry.  Being that I was within 6 or 7 years from retirement, I decided that life was way too short to be miserable everyday, so I left my job to start my own business. Going back to my roots and doing what I love. My goal was to make enough money to pay the bills, keep things low key, and most important to control my own time.

 

Of course there is a tradeoff. Do I worry about paying the bills when I never had to before? Yup. Am I happier? A lot! I find the stress worrying about getting business and paying the bills to be a lot less than hating your job and not controlling your life. I find the money thing always seems to work out one way or another. I will admit, I try to live more frugally than I used too but in general that doesn't make much difference in my happiness.   

 

The advice to negotiate your pay up is good. There is currently a shortage of workers so I think that's a real possibility. One thing though, if you decide to leave your current job, be committed to leaving. Don't be enticed to stay with a promise of more pay. More money is not going to make the work any more enjoyable and eventually they will get the difference back out of you, 

 

Lastly, if you do take a lower paying job, make sure you are really going to be happier doing it. Also think about if there is any side gig you might also enjoy doing that will help make up the difference in pay.

Edited April 6, 2022 by vintage6t

[Sniper]

1 hour ago, vintage6t said:

Don't be enticed to stay with a promise of more pay. More money is not going to make the work any more enjoyable and eventually they will get the difference back out of you

 

This is a good point to remember.  My daughter left a job because of internal company issues that she saw and were not being addressed.  During her exit interview she told them exactly what the reasons for her leaving.  She enjoyed her job, but between the toxic environment another manager had created (know but not addressed) and the fact that her people were getting shafted as they would hire in people with no experience and pay them more than the people that had been there.  So she left for a similar job, 50% pay raise and no reports.  Her old company came back about two months after she left, realizing they really needed her and not the other way around.  Before they even contacted her they addressed the issues when had brought up.  She came back, with a raise (over the 50% mentioned), a promotion and a lot more influence over the direction the company is going.  She is a VP at a bank now.  They did try to short change her on the money initially, when we talked I told her that going back for less than she was making at the new job was not a good idea.  They came to her, not the other way around so they have to match, at least.  She took that and ran with it and ended up with the raise, lol.  All they can do is say no. 

 

One final chuckle over this, since she got married her goal was to make more than her husband.  She does now, I told her she needs to get a skirt for him, lol.  Actually, between the two of them they make about twice what I do.  Wish I had a go getter when I had a wife.

[Plymouthy Adams]

many women go for that MRS degee right out of high school and bother not with anything but to play Mary from then on....women want everything from one man and man wants...well, let that one alone for now.  Sometimes you have to cull one or two to get a good apple.

[Sniper]

Well, she was a fellow sailor when we married, but being Mom was what she wanted. 

[Los_Control]

I will toss in my 2 cents.

Life really is shorter then we think it is, & every year it passes, gets shorter. ..... Seems the older we get the faster the years past?

 

Health is a big issue. While working. If you are getting a lot of stress from work, this will effect your life span.  Is it really worth a few years on your life?

 

You do not say what your job is. Does not matter, what does matter is are you happy?

 

I personally love to work. I quit school when I was 15 years old and went to work as a plumbers helper. When I was 16 & legal to work I got into the tire business.

By the time I was 25 years old I was a manager of a Bandag truck tire retread shop.By the time I was 30 I wanted out because of several reasons & stress coming from all directions. The company sold out, my #1 employee was after my position ... later ended up in jail for his actions.

The previous owners who built the company sold out and made a fortune. I quit a $50k per year job.

 

I decided I would want to go into construction at this time. I started out as a laborer digging trenches. Very poor money, about 6 months later a finish carpenter took me under his wing. I worked for him for several years and made decent money. .... Boy he use to get pissed at me. Took him 35 years to learn the trade and I was picking his brain and learning it in 5 years. .... Grinding in cats ass'es on curved maple handrails .... building custom stairs is not something a 2 year apprentice does.

 

Even that I got tired of. For some reason I preferred doing old remodels. I just love being a detective and figuring out issues on old houses.

I could always make a living. I loved my work.

I worked my way up to owning my own home, was a piece of crap and needed remodeled, my wife accepted this. Cobbler kids never has shoes.

 

 

 

 

I'm only saying with my experience, jobs & money come & go.

My wife & I are both in this 2nd grade photo.  We are both 60 years old  today ... we have known each other all our life. Married 38 years.

This time my wife & I have been through a tough ride because I am not the smartest light bulb in the bunch.

My wife will stand behind me as I will stand behind her. Money & jobs come & go ...

 

[keithb7]

I was in a similar situation working corporate. I became tired of the what often felt like silly games. Seemingly internal corporate ladder climbers and their new ideas were driving me nuts. I was frustrated for a long time. I was making good money. I did so for a long time. I pushed through and found ways to deal with things and stay positive. Work was controlling my life too much. I felt a lot of pressure to keep my family in the life they were accustomed to. It was self induced. My wife never pressed me.  Yet all those years we squirrelled away savings too. Paid things off. We lived a good spoiled life in a lot of ways. Yet I was paying a hard price for it. 
 

I was telling myself “10 more years. I’m 55 in ten years. I can make it. Then likely I can retire.” I told myself that for 5 more years. A near nervous breakdown came on. I was sick and tired. Frustrated. I had been looking around at other job options. I had 17 years in at this company. I did not want to start over new, somewhere else. I work for a pretty big company. There were options. I’d bring home less money. Yet I’d be home every night. I live 5 mins drive away from my work. I could take an office job. A coffee maker and a personal fridge in my office! Big windows. Heat and A/C. A comfortable desk and all. I was well respected in the company by many. For my experience and work ethic. A new job, within the same industry was available to me. I applied. The money hit was more than I was willing to bear. I had the skills and experience. I knew I was worth more. I tried to negotiate a better wage. They couldn’t move. I waked away. 
 

6 months later I was still feeling pretty frustrated . I went back. I took the job. I earn less income. Yet I am happy. The new job is fulfilling. The days, weeks, and months fly by.  I am mentally stimulated. I work in an environment not entirely different from my old cars hobby at home. My work experience is helping me a ton in my new job and in my car hobby at home too! My co-workers are appreciative and supportive. No more frustration. I put in a good day’s work and I actually accomplish a ton of stuff. It’s quite rewarding. People appreciate what I bring to the work environment. 
 

Financially my wife and I adjusted. As mentioned, we had saved a lot. Thats our retirement nest-egg. We continue to save the same amount for retirement each year. We just spend money less day to day. The kids are all grown up now. They are costly little projects! Yet not any more. We are both happier. My wife too. 
 

I’m very glad to have made the move. A very good decision for me. It was a tough decision to come to. I pressed on for years, continuing to be unhappy at work. I came to realize that life’s too short. Adjust accordingly while you have the choice. 
 

I understand everyone’s financial situation and personal life is different. I won’t direct you what to do.  Just sharing my experience so you have some support to help you make a decision. 

[Bryan]

With a job there's a lot to think about. Pay is important but happiness also.  What kind of retirement pension, health insurance they offer is to consider.  I know you said you don't want to move, but if I can ask, what would keep you from moving? Family, friends and church?  Housing sales are booming, selling a house wouldn't be a problem. Finding a reasonable one in the new place would be a problem. Some small towns have limited jobs, and in some areas high utilities and taxes.  A relative of my wife lives in Louisiana. She was saying there was a town there that had $400-500 electricity bills for most people. Utility had a monopoly and in cahoots with local gov't.   Maybe moving would be better to a larger town with more opportunities.   Where I was raised was a small town in north central SC that only had cotton mills up to the 70s. The owner (Close & Col Springs) kept all other business out. When the cotton mill industry collapsed  our town almost went under.  Took just in the last 20-25 years to get straightened out.  People still commute an hour to Charlotte NC to work. 

[Dodgeed]

As they say, money doesn't bring happiness, but it sure makes everyday living more pleasant.  You need to have a good salary to keep the wolf away from the door. If you hate what you're doing on the current job, how about changing jobs there, which allows you to keep the benefits, and maybe freeze the pay? No more raises, but trading off the parts you hate for less stress might be the answer. 

[Dan Hiebert]

My caution regarding staying in a work environment that stresses you out is the potential adverse affect on your health.  And that is even if you like what you're doing.  I've a friend who just died a few days ago, less than a year from retirement.  I hate to say it, but it was not really a surprise - He loved what he did, but he wigged-out over mediocre things he had no control over.  Some people are like that, but if you can avoid the stress, whether self created or not, it may be better for you even with less pay.

[keithb7]

I think we all handle stress differently depending on many things. Our life and work experience can be a big help with managing your work load.  Your genetics too. How our brains function. Our chemical make up. Our anxiety levels is a real big one. 
 

People can and do wig-out about little things beyond their control at work. They can’t help it. Little things may drive them nuts. Sometimes medication is required. 

[RobertKB]

Sometimes just telling your boss to b***** off and die works. Either he gets the message you’re not happy and changes or he fires you. If the latter, you’re thinking of changing jobs anyway and you had the satisfaction of speaking your mind. 

[Bryan]

On 4/7/2022 at 3:07 PM, keithb7 said:

I was telling myself “10 more years. I’m 55 in ten years. I can make it. Then likely I can retire.” I told myself that for 5 more years. A near nervous breakdown came on. I was sick and tired. Frustrated. I had been looking around at other job options. 

I was managing construction projects overseas with the Corps of Engineers. Always understaffed and with management not consistently supporting you in decisions.  My nerves couldn't have taken that for another 10 years. Getting a building blown out from under us in a terrorist attack didn't help.  Screwed us up for about 3 years.  Could have come back from Israel and worked in design review, but we already had bought a house and land in SC. Why pay rent with a free place to stay? Decided to retire and glad I did.

[Tooljunkie]

On 4/6/2022 at 3:25 PM, vintage6t said:

As was mentioned prior, it's a tradeoff happiness vs. money.  I was in a similar situation about 3 years ago. I had a very well paying high level corporate job, I woke up miserable and stressed to the max every morning. I never had any money worries though. I'm not an extravagant person but even if I was I could afford pretty much whatever I wanted without any worry.  Being that I was within 6 or 7 years from retirement, I decided that life was way too short to be miserable everyday, so I left my job to start my own business. Going back to my roots and doing what I love. My goal was to make enough money to pay the bills, keep things low key, and most important to control my own time.

 

Of course there is a tradeoff. Do I worry about paying the bills when I never had to before? Yup. Am I happier? A lot! I find the stress worrying about getting business and paying the bills to be a lot less than hating your job and not controlling your life. I find the money thing always seems to work out one way or another. I will admit, I try to live more frugally than I used too but in general that doesn't make much difference in my happiness.   

 

The advice to negotiate your pay up is good. There is currently a shortage of workers so I think that's a real possibility. One thing though, if you decide to leave your current job, be committed to leaving. Don't be enticed to stay with a promise of more pay. More money is not going to make the work any more enjoyable and eventually they will get the difference back out of you, 

 

Lastly, if you do take a lower paying job, make sure you are really going to be happier doing it. Also think about if there is any side gig you might also enjoy doing that will help make up the difference in pay.

I had a good govt job. The last year i was there, i hated it. I decided i had enough and just went home. Started a shop at home and paid the bills. 8 years ago. Longest i ever held a job. 

[ggdad1951]

money does not = happiness

 

Several jobs I have had were just huge stressors.  At the time one of them they layed me off and I was super bummed, but I came out of it with a job that has me happier and less stressed (first time in my life I end the day and don't think about work till the next day).  Now I make a bit less money that was nice to have, but way not worth the health effects of stress (ask my hairline).

[belvedere]

Thanks for all the replies...much appreciated!  I ended up bargaining with one of the offers a little.  After a lot of thinking, praying, and talking with my wife, I accepted it.  I will start at a little over 70% of my current pay, which will be tough, but it will increase in steps, and after 9-12 months, I should be at about 90% of current.  There is also some potential for growth in the future.  It's a mom and pop...I think there's like 10 people working there, including the owner.  I know one of the employees (worked with him at another job many years ago), and he loves it there, so that's encouraging.  My current boss (who is a really good guy) was very understanding.  I will start the new job in a month.

[keithb7]

Wow. Congrats. A big decision. I hope it works out very well for you. I’m pretty sure it will. I’m coming up to 1 year now after I made my career move. I still enjoy going to work every day. 

[Kilgore47]

Congratulations on your decision.  I have always been a fan of "Work to live - not - Live to work".  Although there were times when I got up at 3:30 in the morning and didn't get back home till 8pm.  You turn into a zombie after a few weeks working those kinds of hours.  But the plant blew up and we had to get it back on line.  Left that job after we got the plant running again.  Didn't want to do that again. 

 

Made it through all those crazy times and I'm retired now.   Being retired is the best job I have had so far.

[Plymouthy Adams]

I second that retirement is the best job ever, being retired I stay as busy if not more so than when working.  I look back and wonder how I juggled work, house, kids/school, yard maintenance and still got a bit of sleep each day and was still pretty much on top of all these tasks.  I realized that I went to work, I also was able to rest up.   Being retired the secret is staying busy but to never set a deadline as this now crosses the fine line of hobby/fun and places it into the WORK zone.... 

[Tooljunkie]

Something to look forward to. A tough decision, but if its less stress its worth it. 

[Plymouthy Adams]

the decision could be a tough one and it is all based on the initial loss of usually not more than a couple dollars an hour pay.....this is often offset with less cost for fuel and food on the jobsite....with both going up as they are semi-weekly.....may well be affordable to jump.