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Why W****R and S**W are swear words.


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Fresh pic update from this morning...It was about 21F this morning. Windy. Feels like -40. We're getting soft over here. If I never had to shovel snow, ever again, I would not miss it one bit. The power tools help make the snow removal fun and keep my mind active.  Fixing old junk. That's what I seem to like to do best. If it has an engine, I am into it.  HP and gas....Occasionally  I may be found grunting like Tim the tool man Taylor around my engines. I just fixed up this broken snowblower. I bought it July. Works good now!

 

We don't actually need air conditioning. My house has no AC at all. We do get 100F heat waves here in the summer. At my elevation and surrounding greenery, it cools off swell at night. I never bothered with AC in the house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I spent some time in Vancouver, BC when I was in.  Very pretty country and you can smell the pines as you are coming in fro the sea.  But I never visited there in the winter, nor do I ever have a hankering to.  lol. 

 

Though I will admit that when we get a string of 100+ degree months in a row here I think long and hard about moving up north. 

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13 hours ago, Sniper said:

I spent some time in Vancouver, BC when I was in.  Very pretty country and you can smell the pines as you are coming in fro the sea.  But I never visited there in the winter, nor do I ever have a hankering to.  lol. 

 

Though I will admit that when we get a string of 100+ degree months in a row here I think long and hard about moving up north. 

I am about 3.5 hours drive NE of Vancouver. Yes, you've nailed the right area for my location

 

The problem with the darn earth's axis is you just can't get even, moderate, steady temps year round.  Down there where it's warm all winter, it's crazy hot and humid in the summer! Here where summer is a little less extreme, in the winter we get this white crap that all Primadonnas love. They go on about how pretty and beautiful the snow is. Sure... Here's a shovel. For 10 days straight at either 6 AM before work, or 6PM after work, you get 1.5 hours of free exercise! It will be interesting to hear how your love of snow turns to disdain. Why just this morning it was so nice...I was out there in the dark at 6:15 am, getting a nice sweat on before work. Working the snow shovel...Then the  peaceful ,quiet, tranquility was slashed by the roar of my 11 HP Techumseh.

 

Only 10 days? That's just an example of a string of a few days back to back, in January. It's already started this year here in Oct. We'll be into it till the end of Feb for sure.The power tools certainly help make things much better. With decades of winters behind me, I have accumulated tools to help with the task. We make the best of it. Smile and cancel the gym membership!

 

A ton of folks pack up and head south for 5 or so months. Snowbirds we call them. Off to Calif, Ariz, Florida, etc...So they never see snow except in their security cameras back home....This year they are in a state of shock. Can't travel to the USA in their RV's. Some are scrambling to find a place to park their RVs here that is frost free all year...The options are very limited.

 

 These folks who love snow! They're so cute....

Edited by keithb7
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I've seen this several times. Makes me chuckle every time.. 

 

Author unknown. Could have come from any northern U.S. State or Canadian Provence. 

 

Diary of a snow shoveler.
 
December 8 - 6:00 PM

It started to snow.
The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat  for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!
 
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight!
Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
What a perfect life!
 
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again
I don't think that's possible.
Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
 
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
 
December 15
20 inches forecast.
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly.
We aren't in Alaska, after all.
 
December 16
Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
 
December 17
Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
God I hate it when she's right.
I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
 
December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.
More shoveling!
Took all day.
The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.
 
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white   **** fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss.
By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy.  I think the ***** is lying.
 
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.
 
December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
 
December 25
Merry freaking Christmas!
20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude.
I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
 
December 26
Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.
 
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
 
December 28
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
 
December 29
10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard.   How dumb does he think I am?
 
December 30
Roof caved in.
I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.
The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.
 
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house.
No more shoveling.
 
January 8
Feel so good.
I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?  

Edited by Merle Coggins
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44 minutes ago, keithb7 said:

. . .The problem with the darn earth's axis is you just can't get even, moderate, steady temps year round.  Down there where it's warm all winter, it's crazy hot and humid in the summer! Here where summer is a little less extreme, in the winter we get this white crap that all Primadonnas love. . . .

 

Unless you have a nice big body of water immediately adjacent to you to moderate temperatures all year round.

 

From Wikipedia:

Quote

San Clemente has a Mediterranean climate where temperatures tend to average in the 70s °F (20s °C). The warmest month of the year is August, with an average high temperature of 79 °F (26 °C). The coldest month is December with an average high temperature of 64 °F (18 °C). The annual rainfall in 2010 was 10.5 inches (270 mm) and the annual days of sunshine 310.

 

Of course you’ve got to put up with all the people, especially the summer beach crowds.

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I just put one of those "Sad" faces on your post!

 

I am sad you live there and I don't!!

 

Cold in the garage right now ( central Ca.) at 55 degree. Have to wear a jacket and sweats with stocking cap! 🤐 No snow OR rain in sight.

 

Now i am gone to get some hate mail!

 

DJ

 

DJ

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I hadn't thought about the Snowbird thing with this pandemic and all.  Now we live where the Snowbirds migrate from, we used to live where the Snowbirds migrate to every winter.  Can't say we looked forward to it, but I'm sure the service industries will be feeling some pain this year.  At least the U.S. Snowbirds can still fly south, and maybe things will ease up for Canadians.  One of those "hmmm" things - the furthest point south in Canada (think commensurate weather) is southern Michigan.  Canada doesn't have a "Florida", or "Rio Grande Valley", if you don't get out of Canada in the winter, you're gonna be cold...

Edited by Dan Hiebert
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I spent about 10 years in San Diego, when I wasn't deployed out to sea.  I understand all about moderating influences, on the weather anyway. lol.  If I didn't have kids I probably would not have moved away.  Where I live is on the edge of the Chihuahua Desert, so humidity isn't too bad.  Unless it rains.  We get snow maybe twice a year, which might actually be tomorrow if the little boys who lied and grew up to be weathermen are right.  It looks pretty, doesn't generally ever get deep enough to shovel, or hang out long enough to wear out it's welcome.

 

I might bust out the wool socks and longjohns if I end up working tomorrow.  Gonna be out in the oil patch and they are predicting up to 8" of snow up there.  If they actually get that kind of snow I won't be going there, but it will still be cold regardless.  Not nearly as cold as it was when we had to knock ice off the ship north of the arctic circle, but I ain't in my 20's anymore either.

 

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I suspect the warmest location in Canada is Victoria BC. As mentioned, a big warm body of pacific ocean to keep temps moderated. Its not the furthest south by a long shot. Windsor Ontario is the furthest south you can go in Canada. I believe it is on par with Northern California for latitude.  Problem is, Detroit and Buffalo winters are known for the cold snow. Windsor is right there too. 
 

Victoria BC is indeed the winter jewel in Canada. 

Edited by keithb7
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Windsor is across the Detroit River from Detroit proper.  The Detroit River runs east-west, so Windsor is south of Detroit.  I didn't think Detroit winters were too awful bad, lived in Port Huron, but worked just a tad north of Detroit in Harrison Township.  Buffalo gets a bad rap because of a winter storm or two.  Lived there a few years, too.  Those occasional lake effect storms just happen to get the weather channels' attention, hence the bad publicity.  Not exactly pleasant, but not too bad.  I didn't like Buffalo weather because it was gray all winter, rarely saw the sun.  Point Pelee is the furthest point south in "mainland" Canada, Pelee Island is a bit further south in Lake Erie.  About the same latitude as southern Michigan.  Pelee Island is only about 30 miles south of Windsor, so same difference I guess.  Really pretty island with vinyards and a couple of nice wineries that are awesome to visit.   There's a little now uninhabited islet called Middle Island between Pelee Island and Kelly's Island (US) that's the southernmost point of land in Canada.  It's barely inside Canadian waters and had a club and casino on it during Prohibition.   

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A few years back, we were on our way to a carribbean cruise. 
-35 c here in manitoba, breaking through drifts with the bumper of the dodge caravan. Made it to airport, got on plane and off we went. To toronto.-8 and light snow. There were delays,they couldnt get luggage on aircraft as they kept getting stuck in the inch or so of snow that accumulated. The weather at home as extreme as it was, was actually normal. In toronto, it was also extreme, to them. 
everybody in parkas and our group, outside having a smoke wearing light jackets or sweatshirts. Conditioning. 

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Toronto thinks itself the centre of Canada. NOT. The city once called in the Canadian army to help dig out after a snowstorm that any other Canadian city would have dealt with locally. 

Edited by RobertKB
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