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Best work place pranks


Flatie46
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For years I would always send my new young carpenters to the local lumberyards to pick up supplies for our projects.  I would usually put a board stretcher on the list and most of them would ask the the yard guy for a board stretcher, everyone except the kid would get a good laugh.  After several years of this I sent a new guy to the yard and he returned with my items and also a big ugly piece of steel all welded up that appeared to be a homemade tool at one time, it took up most of the bed of my truck and needed to be loaded with a forklift.  I asked the kid whats this?  and he replied its the board stretcher.  I busted out laughing as he told me the owner of the yard waited on him and he helped load the board stretcher.  That kid didn't last very long working for me.  

 

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Our ofc.mgr lamented the lack of snow in TX as she grew up in Nebraska, so me and another engineer conspired to collect the chads from several hole punches in the building, then positioned the chads in the vent over her desk in little mounds in the duct...and for weeks afterward, whenever the heat kicked on, a few more chads would fall from the vent, which was located directly over her keyboard...so she'd either yelp from the surprise snow, or cuss at the chads that appeared on her keyboard while she was away from her desk...good times :cool:

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I was hired by the ME Department during my extended senior year to finish a design project that we ran out of time working on, with the design centering on a GMC Sierra 2500 that was donated to the school (long story).  After several months of unsupervised work, I was nearing the completion of the project, then I was informed that there was a delay in my paychecks 3 weeks in a row, with some sort of bureaucratic mumbo jumbo that came as explanation.  The department secretary informed me on the back steps during her smoke break that if I was not paid in full by a certain date, the university did not have to pay me at all; also, they could only pay me so much per week, not one lump sum...I quickly did the math and realized that if I didn't start getting paid in a few days, I was gonna get stiffed out of some big $$$ to a starving college student.  So I made my move the next day...2 days later, the department heads involved with administering projects were cussing me out in the hallway between classes, in front of other students, threatening to have me thrown in jail for theft of university property, cuz that GMC had "disappeared" ...I smiled and told them that I was just so weak from not eating, cuz I hadn't gotten paid in almost a month, that I was having trouble remembering things; this brought snickers from innocent observers and smoke coming out of the ears of the aggressors...the paychecks started being delivered as required a few days later, and when the last one cleared the bank, I paid a visit to the department head's top floor office, walking past the department secretary and giving her a wink as I dangled the GMC's keys (did I mention that she was drop dead gorgeous?).  He cursed me out some more, told me how unethical I was being (hello kettle, you're black), and demanded to know where the blankety blank truck was...I pointed over his shoulder out the window to the university motor pool parking lot 500 feet away, where that red truck was parked in clear view of his window, and since that lot was secured, it had never left the university property and the keys had been with the motor pool office the whole time, where I had checked it in under my name with the ME department... which was right next door to the university police station... he cursed me one more time as I walked out the door, and I patted the department secretary on the head as she was covering her mouth and turning beet red, trying not to laugh...later, I ran into her on her smoke break, and she high-fived me for my accomplishment, and relayed to me the aftermath of that whole incident as it unfolded in the department corridors, as egos had been bruised for the fact that some lowly undergrad had bested several distinguished PhDs at a game of chicken...it was a good thing :cool:

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One of the guys in the testing department was a real know-it-all blowhard, quick to shift blame and point out others' mistakes...a real ray of sunshine.  I noticed that he would leave his CB radio on his toolbox and asked him about that one day, was told to mind my own business...a few weeks later, we had a cold snap but some European aerial lifts needed to ship, so knucklehead was out there freezing his whutsitz off doing his job, but found the time to cuss at me for some minor problem, in front of several ppl, before he went back outside to test another unit.  Once he went out the door, I pointed at the radio on his toolbox, asked the observers "how long should I hang him out to dry?" , they all immediately began laughing, so I told the small crowd that I would be back in 15 minutes... by that time, knucklehead was in the middle of articulation testing, it looked like it was about to start snowing, and I returned to hit the e-stop on the lower controls...this effectively stuck him 50 feet up in the below-freezing air, and after 5 minutes I went back out to pull the e-stop so he could let himself down...of course by then the hydraulics had gotten so cold that the ride down was excruciatingly slow, which allowed me plenty of time to vacate the premises while he shouted threatening curses in my direction, much to the amusement of his coworkers...I later found out that chickens-hit tried to get me written up for some sort of safety violation; the only problem was that he was making a complaint to the guy that I had turned in his radio and asked him to remind his test techs why they need their radios at all times, which by company rules was a terminating offense.  From that point forward, we didn't have much of a problem... :cool:

Edited by JBNeal
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one of the 20-something office admins griped at me for filling out a form in black ink instead of blue ink...3 weeks later, on the day that she had quite a few reports due and was an excuse machine cuz she was always late, I replaced the 3 fistfuls of pens and pencils in her decorative cup and top drawers and 2 clipboards with packaged straws from Whataburger... when she strolled in fashionably late that morning, several of us gathered around and peered over the cubicle walls to watch her get situated, reach for a pen from the cup, then her keyboard, then her top drawer, then her other top drawer with a growing look of confusion before blurting out WTF, at which point we cackled at her like crows, surprising her before she resorted to swearing at all of us while throwing said straws at us as we fled...a few minutes later, I handed her a blue pen...and throughout the day, we would rain down a few pens and pencils at her desk over the cube walls after shouting INCOMING to which she would squeal and curse at us while diving under the desk...that was a fun day :cool:

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2 hours ago, Merle Coggins said:

(Mental Note:  Never cross Brian...). :D

"Never Cross Brian" ...possibly a book title ?:D

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I noticed that our ofc.mgr would occasionally close the door to her office during her lunch hour, then eventually noticed that it was always on every other Monday...I then heard thru the grapevine that once her boys were old enough to stay over at other ppl's houses, her and her husband would head out of town to go kick up their heels twice a month...and yadayadayada Mondays she looked really tired...so one afternoon when she had some big meeting, I hacked into her PC to set an alarm every 6-10 weeks using an air horn soundwave cranked to 11...after the 4th time it scared the bejeezus out of her enough for her to yelp, she called IT for help cuz of some "virus"...GOOD TIMES :cool:

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This prank was on me. In my early days with this forum and auto mechanics I had to trust and rely on forum members for most everything. Several were most helpful and I came to have the highest respect and confidence in these few. When I started working with the wiring, gauge, solder, lock washers on terminals, etc, in one thread regarding soldering, I was informed that if the solder got TOO hot, it would release the smoke that was placed in the wire for safety reasons!!! 

So newbies, forewarned is forearmed! 

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13 minutes ago, pflaming said:

This prank was on me. In my early days with this forum and auto mechanics I had to trust and rely on forum members for most everything. Several were most helpful and I came to have the highest respect and confidence in these few. When I started working with the wiring, gauge, solder, lock washers on terminals, etc, in one thread regarding soldering, I was informed that if the solder got TOO hot, it would release the smoke that was placed in the wire for safety reasons!!! 

So newbies, forewarned is forearmed! 

Ha! that reminds me of that replacement Lucas smoke I've seen advertised for  sale for the wiring harnesses of british cars. Lucas made electrical components for british cars and motorcycles. Kind of a running joke about the quality of Lucas products. Lucas has been referred to as the prince of darkness.

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My 1st project at the OEM was riddled with problems, lots of ppl pitched in to cause daily headaches...by the time that 1st unit got to the assembly line, it had gotten the nickname Lime Green Bstrd...it was then that I learned that it wasn't worth it to argue with ppl on the assembly line cuz they didn't listen, they would do whatever they wanted, curse engineering for screwing everything up, then let engineering fix the problems before deciding to listen to instructions.  Because they couldn't listen to instructions, the first build had complaints that hoses were too short...when I tried to explain to them that the hoses were routed wrong, they insisted that the hoses were too short, with the crusty lead man cussin' at me to go get the hose stretcher back in the hose shop, with a few others chiming in agreement...I surveyed the situation and agreed, then headed back to the hose shop...the hose shop guys kinda looked at me funny, so I told them that lead man was pranking me, to which they laughed.  I then asked to borrow some large slip joint pliers nearby and told them I'd be back in 15...I showed back up at LGB with the lead man perfectly perched up a 6 foot ladder and showed him them pliers...he tells me that those were not hose stretchers, to which I replied that they were johnson bar pullers, and that he should hold still for a minute while I motioned them big pliers like a snapping turtle...WHOA WHOA WHOA he exclaimed as he tried to scramble up that ladder, with the locals howling at the turn of events...in later years, when another new guy would show up on the shop floor for a new project, I invariably got dragged into solving these problems as I was kinda good at it and the guys on the line knew I didn't bs my way out of issues...the hose stretcher would be requested from the responsible engineer from various locations around the facility, as far away from the line as possible, with one winter it being located in a storage shed that was super dirty for the arrogant smart mouth engineer that blamed everyone else for his screwups...we had him out there for a couple of hours in subfreezing temps digging thru dusty shelves before I went to go get him, telling him that the stretcher was in Virginia being calibrated so we were going to try something else...when he eventually found out that Santa Claus wasn't real, he pouted and sulked for weeks...bless his heart :cool:

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  • 5 years later...

as our economy has recently evolved, we had a gal in sales that opts to work remotely, yet "maintains" an office at our annex that is 5 miles away from our manufacturing facility.  A few weeks ago, she threw a royal hissy fit because her 2 monitors had been replaced with "inferior" monitors...when it was pointed out that those monitors were reallocated months ago but she had only recently noticed because she has not set foot in her office since early last year, she maintained that those monitors were hers and demanded their return.  She failed to notice that her finely crafted office chair had been replaced with an inferior conference room chair by my neighbor engineer (he beat me to it), but no one reminded her during her tirades up the totem pole.  Much murmuring occurred in the office for days to the amusement of many...
 

Last Friday morning, I discovered that the office supply closet was out of toilet paper AGAIN, this time we think somebody in the 2nd shift machine shop was walking out with that John Wayne TP cuz we were not fans of that paper product but it was better than the 3 seashells method.  Fridays the engineering group steps out for lunch, this time we stopped at a cafe right down the street from our annex, where our HR manager resides.  After lunch, we popped into the annex on a TP raid in that supply closet...when the HR mgr asked what we were up to, as we were not being cat burglars about our activity, I quipped that we were reallocating resources and went into detail about what had gone down that morning, she laughed and asked just to leave her a few rolls for safety stock.

 

As we were chatting in the lobby, I opened the closed door to that sales gal's corner ofc, and we all took a peek inside to see this ofc was clearly not occupied, no papers, books, pens, no personal items, just a U-shaped desk, conference chair, 2 old monitors, and a docking station covered with a light layer of dust.  But propped up facing the door on this desk was a yellow legal pad, and written in big letters was DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM THIS OFFICE.  So I took the pad off the desk, removed the page with the warning, put the warning back on the desk, and tucked the legal pad under my arm as I was closing the door to leave...many fist bumps were received for that bit of juvenile behavior...we have thought about putting a betting pool together to see how long before that sales gal has her next meltdown  :D 

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Years ago I was working second shift in Austin.  Had a guy in the group, different area though, that was useless.  Arrogant, but useless.  So one day I was bored and decided to give him a present.  Went down to the shipping department, got an mid sized box, taped the top shut, put his name on it, then cut a big hole in the bottom, filled it with styrofoam peanuts and put it on his desk chair right side up.

 

Next day when I came into work I talked to the guy in the cube next to him and he said those peanuts went every where and pissed him off to the point he threw his chair and stomped off.  That was the start of a new thing to amuse myself.  I continued to mess with him on and off for a couple of years.  About every three months or so, just long enough for him to unwind enough to let his guard down.

 

Lots of further antics over the years.   

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During college breaks in the ‘70’s I worked as a draftsman in the facilities department for a manufacturing company.  I worked out of one of the plant buildings and would joke around with a couple of the younger full time guys.  One of them flipped used cars as a side gig, and he was driving a snazzy Lincoln Mark II at the time.  He had a habit of parking as close to the building entrance as he could and making a bee line to his car at lunch time.  One day I filled up the Mark’s clamshell door handle with machinist’s lay out bluing, and at noon we gathered in the shop and watched out the window as he opened the car door…..the look on his face as the gooey bluing oozed through his fingers was priceless!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Years back we had an office manager that had a habit of walking up behind someone that had their head down concentrating on a problem and toss a hand full of pennies on their desk.  It was funny the first couple of times but people got tired of it and asked him to stop.  He didn't.  This guy always wore a nice pressed white shirt.  One day I found some disappearing ink and put it in a couple of water squirt guns.  The next time he did it we chased him down and covered his nice shirt.  He got mad at us but after about 30 seconds the color went away.  Then I told him the next time he tossed pennies at us that it would be real ink.  Never happened again.  That's good because I'm not sure I could have been mean enough to use real ink.

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My boss at my previous job was a loud racist, sexist, xenophobic POS.  He got his rocks off by teasing and insulting the crew but got bent out of shape if was turned back on him.

 

Myself and a couple of the guys were usually the first to the shop and the last to leave. Depending on how big an A**hole he'd been during the day, we'd either turn up the volume on his radio, or change it to a foreign language or soul station and crank up the volume. He'd jump pretty high when he pushed the ON button. As he drank a carton of cold milk every morning, we'd crank up the temp on the fridge once in a while to watch him chug the milk with lumps of frozen milk in it. His eyes would get big as he thought he had just swallowed some spoiled milk.

 

He was a walking doppleganger to Mike Ditka, right down to the gum chewing. We just called him Dikka.

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Having a coworker who got severely burned due to a workplace prank. Another who's fingers got smashed. Loosing new employees who quit due to bullying with "initiation" pranks. Guy with 25 years in loosing his job instantly by thinking it was "funny" to give a female employee a dildo when she asked for a 6" standard calibration rod. And I ending up in the emergency room when they thought it was "funny" to grease my safety glasses. 

 

I have ZERO tolerance or time for workplace pranks, horseplay, or initiation bulling. When you people who are doing this get severely injured, a coworker gets severely injured,  or you get fired for your pranks, maybe you won't think it is so "funny" after all.

Edited by iowa51
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  • 2 weeks later...

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