Don Coatney Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Thought it would be fun to start a one liners thread. Here are a couple. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireball Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Seems to be something that an foreigner can't participate, I have no idea what this is all about. In other words, me stupid me no understand:p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Coatney Posted October 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reg Evans Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Did you hear about the guy that polished his tennis shoes and rectum ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plymouthy Adams Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 I heard about the constipated math teacher, he worked it out with a pencil... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Coatney Posted October 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Don't join dangerous cults; Practice safe sects! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueskies Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 My two favorites from my grandfather, the funniest man I every knew... What is the difference between Humor and Odor? One is a shift of whit.... What is the difference between Flo's Zigfield Follies and Barnum and Balley's Circus? One has cunning stunts.... Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny S Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. The two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged. What do you call a arrogant fugitive falling from a building? Condescending. What you seize is what you get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny S Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named Jack don't yell out Hi Jack! Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted. Three fingers were willing to cooperate but the thumb and forefinger were opposed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
later Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 Have you heard the one about the dyslexic atheist that didn't believe in dog? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Englishbob Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 Dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Coatney Posted October 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodacious Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 A hole was discovered in the wall at a nudist colony. The police are looking into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Elder Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 A woman backed into an airplane propeller, disaster! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Coatney Posted October 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Elder Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 A bull and a cow were grazing in a pasture when a strong wind came up and knocked the cow over! She got up and asked the bull why he did'nt fall over. "We bulls wobble but we don't fall down!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Coatney Posted October 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 A backward poet writes inverse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Elder Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 Check my door thread, not inverse, but reverse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plymouthy Adams Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 and................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Elder Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 Sorry got carried away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Coatney Posted October 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 Frankie; The sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg g Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 If #2 pencils are the most popular, why are they still #2? Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg g Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 If you think you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. It's only a penny for your thoughts, soputting your two cents in is a waste of money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Coatney Posted October 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 Why are there brail buttons at the Bank drive in window? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carol craig Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 I see said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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